Haven was quite a way from Therinfal, and so even on horseback, with only a single wagon and relatively few people, it would take them quite some time to get back. As with the mages before, the templars would be following as soon as they set their affairs in order. Apparently the other High Seeker, Ophelia, would be helping with that, but then departing in search of the real Lord Seeker. Leon hadnât seemed too sure about that, but in the end, there hadnât been much dissuading her. She seemed like a very resolute womanâit was probably part of being in her line of work.
They were three days into the ride before Estella actually found an opportunity to approach Vesryn. The day was clear and relatively warm, down on the plains of the Bannorn as they were now. She hadnât even bothered with her cloak this morning, leaving it tucked away with her other things, which were loaded on the cart with everyone elseâs. Sheâd decided early on that she wanted to range a bit from the group today, for the opportunity to distract herself, and perhaps even enjoy herselfâriding was one of the few things that she wasnât spectacularly terrible at, perhaps symptomatic of how much she liked animals. The horse underneath her now was a powerful creature, with a coat of deep black. Heâd been part of the bonus for her promotion to lieutenant, and as such chosen for his merits by the commander, who as a chevalier knew good horseflesh well. Like any proud Orlesian charger, he quite liked to run, and she loved to let him do so.
Having learned the last time not to simply choose to do something like ride off on her own, sheâd this time at least informed Leon of her intentions, and heâd requested that she take someone else with her, probably anticipating that it would be Cyrus, which in all fairness it usually would be. But she wanted to talk to Vesryn anyway, and so this seemed a good opportunity to do so, out of earshot of people who werenât aware of his secret.
Estella steered Nox up alongside him, then, offering a small half-smile. âSay, Vesryn. How goodâs your horsemanship?â She arched one brow, then gestured with a tilt of her head at a slight angle away from the trajectory of the main group, her eyes hinting at just a little bit of mischief. There was a trail there, one that would make a great track for a race. Sheâd no doubt he was excellentâfrankly, she was unsure there was anything he wasnât exceptional at, but Estella wasnât one of those people who felt the need to make a competition of everything. Probably for the best, honestly; she already struggled enough with her sense of self. Feeling as though she were perpetually losing to other people would only make things that much worse. So for her the question really being asked was more about his willingness to humor her than his actual skill at the activity in question.
Vesryn, unsurprisingly, lit up at her question, his eyes returning her gleam of mischief in kind. He rode a white charger of a similar build to Nox with an easy manner that indeed spoke to a great amount of comfort in the saddle. "If it's a race you're proposing, I fear I'm rather weighed down." He still wore all of his armor save for his helmet, all of it having been cleaned effectively by the rain and his own hand by now, and his weapons and shield as well were carried by his mount. "Of course, I've never been deterred by a challenge."
With little further ado, he tugged on his reins and kicked his heels into the horse, quickly ascending into a gallop onto the trail Estella had hinted at, grinning all the while.
Estella was off after him a heartbeat later, and Nox needed little urging to break his easy march in favor of full charge. She gave him his head, accustomed enough to him by now to know that she need do little but guide him. It wasnât long before both were away down the trail, kicking up dust and loose grass behind them. The starting gap between them initially lengthenedâas sheâd guessed, Vesryn knew what he was doing, and his horse was practically flying over the ground.
She stood in her stirrups, bent at the knees to absorb the impact of Noxâs motion, and leaned forward, minimizing her wind resistance, and clicked her tongue, urging just a little more out of the creature beneath her. He gave it, and as the trail rounded its first curve, they were catching up. There werenât many obstacles around, but the end of the curve, which had taken them around a gentle hill, presented them with a narrow creek bed. They hit it almost at the same time, and she felt Nox gather his limbs underneath him, then the exhilaration of weightlessness as he left the ground, launching them both over the creek and landing easily on the other side. The jump placed them behind just by a hair, and though the next flat range stretched invitingly before her, she figured they were probably due a bit of a breather.
In any case, she reined Nox in slowly, until he was trotting again, the grin that had appeared over her face slowly receding back into a subtler expression. âWhew. Been a while since Iâve done that. Definitely missed it.â It was the sort of silly thing she and the other Lions had done in lighter times, on those long rides between headquarters and whatever job they were heading to next. It went without saying that there was little room for anything so unnecessary in the last several months.
Vesryn relaxed into his saddle as well, patting his horse's neck twice with a gloved hand, before he ran the other through his hair. The wind and the swift ride seemed to have hardly disturbed it in the slightest. It was remarkable, really. The grin had yet to budge from his lips. "I'm glad I could help. Have to take the moments we're offered, right?" He fell silent for a moment, his thoughts seemingly within himself as he surveyed the wooded region they'd found themselves in.
It was an expression he'd worn often, easy to mistake for deliberation or perhaps a sort of meditation, but with the prerequisite knowledge in mind, it was not difficult to see him parsing through feelings, and analyzing those that were not his own. If anything, he seemed a bit puzzled by what he found.
"I've been meaning to ask," he said, more quietly, his tone devoid of the mischief it had held earlier, "about what happened when that demon attacked us. I remember none of it, but Envy targeted you, not me, so I'm not sure why I lost consciousness." Naturally, he seemed bothered by the fact that he had. A guardsman, after all, could not properly perform his duty with narcolepsy. Vesryn was not afflicted with such, but Estella knew well that his mental conditions were not normal, and largely unknown even to him.
She nodded, more to herself than him, because he hadnât asked a question that had that kind of answer. But this was the topic sheâd been meaning to come around to eventually anyway, so it was probably a good thing that heâd brought it up. Sheâd meant to check first that Saraya was safely back in his head, but the expression on his face seemed to indicate that well enough. She was relieved, to say the least.
âWhen it⊠grabbed me, itâŠâ She struggled to find the words to describe exactly what had occurred. It wasnât exactly the sort of thing ordinary language had been invented to explain. âLocked me inside my own head, I guess. It wanted to know enough about me to successfully imitate me, to take my place.â The last, she could not help but deliver a little skeptically. She supposed she could see how arriving at Therinfal with a bunch of important Orlesians in tow could give a certain impression of her significance that was misleading, but it wasnât as though she actually led the Inquisition in any meaningful sense. Marceline and Leon and Rilien did that.
âThe magic it did enabled it to⊠follow me in there, I guess you could put it. And somehow⊠Saraya followed too. The best guess I have is that your physical interference with its casting must have pulled her into the spell as well, so that she was transferred in the same way Envy was, or similarly, at least. It would also explain why you were unconscious.â She grimaced, regarding him with some concern. âSheâs⊠sheâs okay, right? Everything is back to the way it was before?â
"I hadn't noticed anything different about her," Vesryn replied, frowning. The expression had lingered on his face while Estella explained, as though he were trying to imagine the type of experience she had gone through with Envy. Clearly he was struggling to grasp it. "Only... with you. There's a difference now, in how she regards you. A better understanding? I suppose that's to be expected, if she was pulled into your head." He appeared quite disturbed by the thought of the proof that Saraya could indeed leave his head and enter another, even if only temporarily or through the work of a demon. Whether it was that thought alone, or that it was Estella's head in particular, was unclear.
Suddenly, his brow furrowed in confusion, his gaze falling to his horse's mane, to the ground below, darting back and forth as he searched his thoughts. "Wait... no, we don't have it right. Do you regard her the same?" The question was quietly asked to the air, to the obvious third party present in the conversation, not seen or heard, but hearing all. "No, not that. You... you weren't pulled into her head?" He finally made eye-contact with Estella again, quickly working through the reaction he felt.
"She wasn't pulled. She... chose to go?" His mouth hung open for a second, and clearly he felt a confirmation of the statement he'd posed as a question. He blinked. "Why would you do that?" Though he looked at Estella, the question was obviously not for her. Nor was it one that was simple for Saraya to answer, given the rules that Vesryn had already laid out.
Estellaâs eyes rounded in surprise; she was just as perplexed as Vesryn was, she figured. Saraya had chosen to enter her mind along with the demon? She chewed her lip, supposing that the best chance they had of successfully learning why was to guess at it themselves, and have her confirm or dissent. Now that she thought about it, it made some degree of senseâSaraya had not seemed surprised or upset to be there, and she had known of Envy's true nature.
âMaybe because she knew she could help? She knew what the demon wasâshe helped me figure it out, and helped me fight it off. Iâd never have made it out without her.â It seemed like a terribly risky thing to do, though, considering what little she knew of how Saraya was connected to Vesryn. But then, difficult as it was to believe that someone would be willing to take that risk for her sake, she supposed it was possible. It wasnât just her, after allâthe marks she and Romulus shared were important. StillâŠ
"That's all correct, but... not all of it, I think." He fell silent, thinking as they rode, and only absently watching the twists of the trail ahead.
He shook his head. "I'm glad she did, of course. I... all of us, would've been crushed to have lost you to a demon. From what I can gather, though, it was at least in part a risk. She's unsure of some things. She knows of a few others that were imprisoned in the same manner as she was, but none that have ended up in her current state. She could've theorized that it was safe enough to try..." Vesryn was clearly going to struggle with this for a while. He was conflicted, plainly. On the one hand, Saraya seemed to have put their link at least partially in jeopardy, and perhaps even risked physical or mental harm coming to him as a result. But she'd also done something he obviously approved of: taking a chance in order to help someone who needed it.
A thought clearly occurred to him, and he turned to face her again. "Did you... did you see her? In whatever it was you were trapped in? Could you hear her? How did she help you?"
She couldnât blame him for struggling with itâsomething like fifteen years, they had been linked as they were, and clearly it was wholly voluntary by this point, even if it hadnât been that way initially. She hadnât even the faintest idea what that would be like, but simple wasnât a word that came to mind.
The question, though, reminded her of something, and she nodded, with a little more certainty. âI did,â she said, her mouth turning up at the corner. âShe couldnât say anything, but she was able to use magic and manifest weapons and armorâand⊠show me what the demon was, I suppose. She touched my forehead, and I felt jealousy, and knew what she meant.â Letting her reins drop, Estella searched through a few pockets before she found something, a small square of paper, which she unfolded and smoothed out against her leg.
âShe was blue, like a spirit, and her face was a little indistinct, especially when I looked at it directly, but Iâm okay at remembering those, so I picked a few things out, at least.â She leaned slightly over in the saddle to hand the parchment to him. âIâm not a very good artist, but I bothered Cyrus until he helped with the details. Sheâs taller than me, and very impressive-looking.â The image was a black-and-white sketch, of a woman wearing armor quite similar to Vesrynâs, a spear planted against the ground in one hand and her other arm draped over the upper edge of a tower shield, slightly tilted towards her side. Her hair came down to her shoulders, her posture proud and tall. Next to the full render were a few different attempts at faces from various angles, similar but not identical to one anotherâEstella had needed to fill in some details, and had made several educated guesses at them, trying to pick what made most sense for the pieces sheâd properly seen. âOf course, I doubt I did her justice, but itâs better than Iâd be able to do in words.â
In a rare display, Vesryn seemed to be speechless. He'd frowned at the mention of jealousy, but soon he was utterly absorbed by the parchment she had handed him. He examined each of the faces, an almost childlike wonder affixed to his features. It was anyoneâs guess as to how Saraya was receiving the attempt at drawing her, as Vesryn was not reacting in such a manner as to give a clue. "I wish I couldâve been there,â he said quietly, before glancing up at her. "Not in your head, of course. I leave that to my better half. But⊠fifteen years, Iâve never seen her, nor heard her voice.â He actually looked to be fighting tears, but judging by the awe with which he looked at the simple sketch, and the upturned corners of his mouth, they were not sorrowful tears.
"Thank you, Estella. This means a lot to me.â
She shook her head slightly. âItâsâŠâ She paused, considering his expression. It wasnât nothing, clearly. Her eyes fell to Noxâs mane, and she leaned forward and down a bit to rub his neck, feeling a bit awkward. âYouâre welcome.â Another pause. âAndâIâm sure she knows, but I never got a chance to thank Saraya, either. Iâm grateful, for what she did.â And staggeringly ashamed of how little assistance sheâd been in the whole process, but she chose not to say that.
Vesryn cleared his throat and blinked several times, obviously not looking to become any more emotional than he already had. "As am I."
They were three days into the ride before Estella actually found an opportunity to approach Vesryn. The day was clear and relatively warm, down on the plains of the Bannorn as they were now. She hadnât even bothered with her cloak this morning, leaving it tucked away with her other things, which were loaded on the cart with everyone elseâs. Sheâd decided early on that she wanted to range a bit from the group today, for the opportunity to distract herself, and perhaps even enjoy herselfâriding was one of the few things that she wasnât spectacularly terrible at, perhaps symptomatic of how much she liked animals. The horse underneath her now was a powerful creature, with a coat of deep black. Heâd been part of the bonus for her promotion to lieutenant, and as such chosen for his merits by the commander, who as a chevalier knew good horseflesh well. Like any proud Orlesian charger, he quite liked to run, and she loved to let him do so.
Having learned the last time not to simply choose to do something like ride off on her own, sheâd this time at least informed Leon of her intentions, and heâd requested that she take someone else with her, probably anticipating that it would be Cyrus, which in all fairness it usually would be. But she wanted to talk to Vesryn anyway, and so this seemed a good opportunity to do so, out of earshot of people who werenât aware of his secret.
Estella steered Nox up alongside him, then, offering a small half-smile. âSay, Vesryn. How goodâs your horsemanship?â She arched one brow, then gestured with a tilt of her head at a slight angle away from the trajectory of the main group, her eyes hinting at just a little bit of mischief. There was a trail there, one that would make a great track for a race. Sheâd no doubt he was excellentâfrankly, she was unsure there was anything he wasnât exceptional at, but Estella wasnât one of those people who felt the need to make a competition of everything. Probably for the best, honestly; she already struggled enough with her sense of self. Feeling as though she were perpetually losing to other people would only make things that much worse. So for her the question really being asked was more about his willingness to humor her than his actual skill at the activity in question.
Vesryn, unsurprisingly, lit up at her question, his eyes returning her gleam of mischief in kind. He rode a white charger of a similar build to Nox with an easy manner that indeed spoke to a great amount of comfort in the saddle. "If it's a race you're proposing, I fear I'm rather weighed down." He still wore all of his armor save for his helmet, all of it having been cleaned effectively by the rain and his own hand by now, and his weapons and shield as well were carried by his mount. "Of course, I've never been deterred by a challenge."
With little further ado, he tugged on his reins and kicked his heels into the horse, quickly ascending into a gallop onto the trail Estella had hinted at, grinning all the while.
Estella was off after him a heartbeat later, and Nox needed little urging to break his easy march in favor of full charge. She gave him his head, accustomed enough to him by now to know that she need do little but guide him. It wasnât long before both were away down the trail, kicking up dust and loose grass behind them. The starting gap between them initially lengthenedâas sheâd guessed, Vesryn knew what he was doing, and his horse was practically flying over the ground.
She stood in her stirrups, bent at the knees to absorb the impact of Noxâs motion, and leaned forward, minimizing her wind resistance, and clicked her tongue, urging just a little more out of the creature beneath her. He gave it, and as the trail rounded its first curve, they were catching up. There werenât many obstacles around, but the end of the curve, which had taken them around a gentle hill, presented them with a narrow creek bed. They hit it almost at the same time, and she felt Nox gather his limbs underneath him, then the exhilaration of weightlessness as he left the ground, launching them both over the creek and landing easily on the other side. The jump placed them behind just by a hair, and though the next flat range stretched invitingly before her, she figured they were probably due a bit of a breather.
In any case, she reined Nox in slowly, until he was trotting again, the grin that had appeared over her face slowly receding back into a subtler expression. âWhew. Been a while since Iâve done that. Definitely missed it.â It was the sort of silly thing she and the other Lions had done in lighter times, on those long rides between headquarters and whatever job they were heading to next. It went without saying that there was little room for anything so unnecessary in the last several months.
Vesryn relaxed into his saddle as well, patting his horse's neck twice with a gloved hand, before he ran the other through his hair. The wind and the swift ride seemed to have hardly disturbed it in the slightest. It was remarkable, really. The grin had yet to budge from his lips. "I'm glad I could help. Have to take the moments we're offered, right?" He fell silent for a moment, his thoughts seemingly within himself as he surveyed the wooded region they'd found themselves in.
It was an expression he'd worn often, easy to mistake for deliberation or perhaps a sort of meditation, but with the prerequisite knowledge in mind, it was not difficult to see him parsing through feelings, and analyzing those that were not his own. If anything, he seemed a bit puzzled by what he found.
"I've been meaning to ask," he said, more quietly, his tone devoid of the mischief it had held earlier, "about what happened when that demon attacked us. I remember none of it, but Envy targeted you, not me, so I'm not sure why I lost consciousness." Naturally, he seemed bothered by the fact that he had. A guardsman, after all, could not properly perform his duty with narcolepsy. Vesryn was not afflicted with such, but Estella knew well that his mental conditions were not normal, and largely unknown even to him.
She nodded, more to herself than him, because he hadnât asked a question that had that kind of answer. But this was the topic sheâd been meaning to come around to eventually anyway, so it was probably a good thing that heâd brought it up. Sheâd meant to check first that Saraya was safely back in his head, but the expression on his face seemed to indicate that well enough. She was relieved, to say the least.
âWhen it⊠grabbed me, itâŠâ She struggled to find the words to describe exactly what had occurred. It wasnât exactly the sort of thing ordinary language had been invented to explain. âLocked me inside my own head, I guess. It wanted to know enough about me to successfully imitate me, to take my place.â The last, she could not help but deliver a little skeptically. She supposed she could see how arriving at Therinfal with a bunch of important Orlesians in tow could give a certain impression of her significance that was misleading, but it wasnât as though she actually led the Inquisition in any meaningful sense. Marceline and Leon and Rilien did that.
âThe magic it did enabled it to⊠follow me in there, I guess you could put it. And somehow⊠Saraya followed too. The best guess I have is that your physical interference with its casting must have pulled her into the spell as well, so that she was transferred in the same way Envy was, or similarly, at least. It would also explain why you were unconscious.â She grimaced, regarding him with some concern. âSheâs⊠sheâs okay, right? Everything is back to the way it was before?â
"I hadn't noticed anything different about her," Vesryn replied, frowning. The expression had lingered on his face while Estella explained, as though he were trying to imagine the type of experience she had gone through with Envy. Clearly he was struggling to grasp it. "Only... with you. There's a difference now, in how she regards you. A better understanding? I suppose that's to be expected, if she was pulled into your head." He appeared quite disturbed by the thought of the proof that Saraya could indeed leave his head and enter another, even if only temporarily or through the work of a demon. Whether it was that thought alone, or that it was Estella's head in particular, was unclear.
Suddenly, his brow furrowed in confusion, his gaze falling to his horse's mane, to the ground below, darting back and forth as he searched his thoughts. "Wait... no, we don't have it right. Do you regard her the same?" The question was quietly asked to the air, to the obvious third party present in the conversation, not seen or heard, but hearing all. "No, not that. You... you weren't pulled into her head?" He finally made eye-contact with Estella again, quickly working through the reaction he felt.
"She wasn't pulled. She... chose to go?" His mouth hung open for a second, and clearly he felt a confirmation of the statement he'd posed as a question. He blinked. "Why would you do that?" Though he looked at Estella, the question was obviously not for her. Nor was it one that was simple for Saraya to answer, given the rules that Vesryn had already laid out.
Estellaâs eyes rounded in surprise; she was just as perplexed as Vesryn was, she figured. Saraya had chosen to enter her mind along with the demon? She chewed her lip, supposing that the best chance they had of successfully learning why was to guess at it themselves, and have her confirm or dissent. Now that she thought about it, it made some degree of senseâSaraya had not seemed surprised or upset to be there, and she had known of Envy's true nature.
âMaybe because she knew she could help? She knew what the demon wasâshe helped me figure it out, and helped me fight it off. Iâd never have made it out without her.â It seemed like a terribly risky thing to do, though, considering what little she knew of how Saraya was connected to Vesryn. But then, difficult as it was to believe that someone would be willing to take that risk for her sake, she supposed it was possible. It wasnât just her, after allâthe marks she and Romulus shared were important. StillâŠ
"That's all correct, but... not all of it, I think." He fell silent, thinking as they rode, and only absently watching the twists of the trail ahead.
He shook his head. "I'm glad she did, of course. I... all of us, would've been crushed to have lost you to a demon. From what I can gather, though, it was at least in part a risk. She's unsure of some things. She knows of a few others that were imprisoned in the same manner as she was, but none that have ended up in her current state. She could've theorized that it was safe enough to try..." Vesryn was clearly going to struggle with this for a while. He was conflicted, plainly. On the one hand, Saraya seemed to have put their link at least partially in jeopardy, and perhaps even risked physical or mental harm coming to him as a result. But she'd also done something he obviously approved of: taking a chance in order to help someone who needed it.
A thought clearly occurred to him, and he turned to face her again. "Did you... did you see her? In whatever it was you were trapped in? Could you hear her? How did she help you?"
She couldnât blame him for struggling with itâsomething like fifteen years, they had been linked as they were, and clearly it was wholly voluntary by this point, even if it hadnât been that way initially. She hadnât even the faintest idea what that would be like, but simple wasnât a word that came to mind.
The question, though, reminded her of something, and she nodded, with a little more certainty. âI did,â she said, her mouth turning up at the corner. âShe couldnât say anything, but she was able to use magic and manifest weapons and armorâand⊠show me what the demon was, I suppose. She touched my forehead, and I felt jealousy, and knew what she meant.â Letting her reins drop, Estella searched through a few pockets before she found something, a small square of paper, which she unfolded and smoothed out against her leg.
âShe was blue, like a spirit, and her face was a little indistinct, especially when I looked at it directly, but Iâm okay at remembering those, so I picked a few things out, at least.â She leaned slightly over in the saddle to hand the parchment to him. âIâm not a very good artist, but I bothered Cyrus until he helped with the details. Sheâs taller than me, and very impressive-looking.â The image was a black-and-white sketch, of a woman wearing armor quite similar to Vesrynâs, a spear planted against the ground in one hand and her other arm draped over the upper edge of a tower shield, slightly tilted towards her side. Her hair came down to her shoulders, her posture proud and tall. Next to the full render were a few different attempts at faces from various angles, similar but not identical to one anotherâEstella had needed to fill in some details, and had made several educated guesses at them, trying to pick what made most sense for the pieces sheâd properly seen. âOf course, I doubt I did her justice, but itâs better than Iâd be able to do in words.â
In a rare display, Vesryn seemed to be speechless. He'd frowned at the mention of jealousy, but soon he was utterly absorbed by the parchment she had handed him. He examined each of the faces, an almost childlike wonder affixed to his features. It was anyoneâs guess as to how Saraya was receiving the attempt at drawing her, as Vesryn was not reacting in such a manner as to give a clue. "I wish I couldâve been there,â he said quietly, before glancing up at her. "Not in your head, of course. I leave that to my better half. But⊠fifteen years, Iâve never seen her, nor heard her voice.â He actually looked to be fighting tears, but judging by the awe with which he looked at the simple sketch, and the upturned corners of his mouth, they were not sorrowful tears.
"Thank you, Estella. This means a lot to me.â
She shook her head slightly. âItâsâŠâ She paused, considering his expression. It wasnât nothing, clearly. Her eyes fell to Noxâs mane, and she leaned forward and down a bit to rub his neck, feeling a bit awkward. âYouâre welcome.â Another pause. âAndâIâm sure she knows, but I never got a chance to thank Saraya, either. Iâm grateful, for what she did.â And staggeringly ashamed of how little assistance sheâd been in the whole process, but she chose not to say that.
Vesryn cleared his throat and blinked several times, obviously not looking to become any more emotional than he already had. "As am I."