It was a few days after they had reached Skyhold, the name the leaders of the Inquisition had given the castle they now resided in. One of the towers near the corner of the compound was cleaned out and was decided to be stable enough to be of immediate use. Currently, the floors were littered with mats, blankets, and cots with the injured laying atop them. Asala had found a small table still intact on the grounds and had brought it inside to hold all manner of potions that Donovan, Milly, and some of the other mages were able to save from the attack on Haven.
Beside that was a cauldron that held enough water to give all of their patients. Presently, Asala stood at the table, her back hunched over so that she could reach the bottle. She was mixing a potion for one of the soldiers who had their leg broken from a nasty fall due to some of the stones on the wall giving away. Meanwhile on the floor next to her, the tranquil Milly was hard at work constructing a cast for the man.
With the potion mixed, Asala turned and crossed the room to where the man sat with his back against the wall. Groans and mumbling came from all around her from soldiers with afflictions. There were many with fevers and pneumonia due to the cold they had to trudge through. Donovan and the other mages made rounds to aid as many as they could, but they were clearly understaffed and under supplied. Even now, Aurora and some of the others were out beyond the castle walls to try and find herbs that they could use. She knelt by the soldier and put a comforting smile on her face before she offered the potion. "This will help with the pain and the healing," she explained, guiding it to his mouth and helping him drink it.
The smile faded as she stood and allowed Milly to take her place and begin to gently wrap the leg in a cast. She returned to the table and reached for another bottle to begin the process again, but she missed and knocked a bottle over, clattering against another. She jumped out of surprised and let out a low squeak, but fortunately she did not break anything. She was still tired, even when they had stopped moving and with a roof over their heads. She was too worried to sleep, her mind awash in thoughts she'd rather not think.
She placed the bottles upright again, and before she was able to return mixing, a firm hand descended on her shoulder and she turned to Donovan's stoic face. "Go rest," he urged. Reflexively her mouth opened to refuse, but before she could get a word out, Donovan cut her off. "Go. We will be fine," he said. She hesitated for a moment, but by the grip he had on her shoulder, he would not take no for answer. Finally she acquiesced, taking her leave through the door and out of the tower. She did not make it far, however, plopping down against the wall beside the door.
There were dozens of people moving about outside, as was to be expected, given the mountain of work that was yet to be done. Some noticed her odd positioning by the door and offered sympathetic smiles, their arms burdened down with debris or, going the other way, measured beams of wood or masonry supplies and who knew what else. Clearly, the Inquisition’s leadership had wasted no time in requisitioning whatever they could as far as essentials.
It wasn’t long before two much more familiar faces approached. Leon looked the slightest bit apprehensive, but he was carrying a wooden tray in one hand, covered over by a metal dome with a handle at the top. Estella had a bundle of blankets over one arm and a pillow tucked under the other. They both looked a bit surprised to see her where she was, but glanced at each other wordlessly, then approached.
“Asala?” Estella spoke first, her voice soft and gentle, almost difficult to hear until she took another few steps, to crouch beside her, shifting the burdens in her hands slightly so that one was free to gently touch Asala's arm, at the bicep. “Are you all right? Can you walk a bit farther?”
"I am fine, just... tired," she said. By the ways her words were drawn out and the bags that stayed under her eyes even after they reached Skyhold said that she was more than just tired. Still, she kept it bottled away for the moment and put a hand against the masonry behind her to help her to her feet. She was unsteady at first, catching Estella's shoulder to help find her legs under her again before she nodded an extending a hand, allowing Estella and Leon to take the lead.
Leon did lead, but Estella stayed back by Asala’s side, keeping a light contact with her elbow—little more than a brush of the fingers, but close enough obviously to become a stronger effort at steadying if she proved to be in need of it. As promised, they didn’t go far, only to the next tower, which was also in relatively good shape.
Entering it brought them into a small hallway, with two doors on either side. Leon took the first one on the left, which opened up into a comfortably-sized room. Clearly, some work had been put into it—the floor had been swept, washed, and then covered in a thick, plush rug, patterned in red and orange. Against the far wall, which also sported a window with a latch, was a wooden bedframe and a currently-bare mattress. A desk, stuffed armchair, and small bookcase completed the arrangement, most of the furnishings looking either new or like someone had gone to a fair bit of work making them useable after a period of time.
“It’s not much,” Estella said, half-smiling and moving to deposit the linens and pillows on the bed, “But we wanted to give you someplace that would just be yours. We’ve had people building bunks and the like since we got here, but… uh.” She glanced at Leon, who shrugged.
“I can wait for an office chair.” Now that he had the opportunity, he set the tray down on the desk. “We brought you lunch, also. We’re…” he hesitated, looking distinctly uncomfortable.
“We’re worried about you.”
"What? Why?" she asked, genuine confusion in her voice. "I am fine, r-really," she said, though she noticably swayed. She had put so much of herself into her work lately, that she no longer felt exhausted, only numb. Her mind worked faster than it should've and all of her thoughts jumbled into an inchorent mess. It was fortunate she manged to find a thread and follow it.
"There are others..." she said, pointing back the way they came. In another moment of confusion, she did manage to take a moment to look at the room they were in, before shaking her head again, "I-I-I cannot. It is too nice. Wh-what of you? Estella? Do you not need a room? Leon? Surely there is someone who needs it more than me," she asked.
Leon was quicker to her side, but despite the urgency of the initial movement, he was extremely careful in his contact, laying one hand on her shoulder and the other at the center of her back, gently guiding her into the chair, perhaps from fear for her continued stability. “Everyone who needs a place to sleep has one, or will soon,” he assured her. “There’s no need for you to be concerned about that.”
He removed his hands once she was safely lowered into the chair, and took a half-step back, probably out of respect for her space, but Estella was a little less reserved in that respect, crouching on the opposite side of the chair and resting a hand on Asala’s knee. “I’m fine,” she confirmed softly. “I’m less sure you are. Asala… it’s been nearly two weeks. I’m just…” she swallowed thickly. There was no need to ask what she was talking about. The solemn silence that had descended over the three of them was indication enough.
"He promised," Asala said quietly, her hands neatly folded into her lap. It was what kept her up the nights since they escaped Haven, and was why she pushed herself so hard now. She had hoped by throwing herself into her work, she wouldn't have time to think, and by the time she was done she would be too tired to dream. It had not been like that. She still thought of it in between brewing potions, and those very same thoughts kept her from her sleep, despite how tired she was. Even so, she still believe Meraad would come back, and soon. "It is... Haven is a long way away. He-he just hasn't had time to get here yet."
He always came for her. Back home, he'd be the one to pull her from her studies. He found her in Haven after the Conclave was destroyed, and he'd find her again, at Skyhold. He was too impatient not to. She only wished he would hurry, she was tired of worrying for him.
“Miss Asala…” Leon’s tone was heavy, and sounded almost as exhausted as she felt. “Rilien’s already sent agents to search Haven and the surrounding area. The only people alive there are Venatori.” He said it as gently as possible, clearly well aware of how terrible the news was. “I’m sorry—more than I can say. He made a sacrifice few would be brave enough to even consider. But that’s what it was: a sacrifice. And I think you know that, too.”
Asala shook her head vigorously, throwing white strands of hair into her face. "He promised," she repeated again. "They-they cannot find him because he is... he is on his way. Here. Now," she said, though the pain was beginning to blossom in her face. "They all are. Romulus and... and Khari. He promised," despite herself, the tears began to flow from her eyes, which she quickly tried to wipe away. She didn't believe it, she couldn't believe it. She had to believe that they were somewhere in the mountains they had trekked, on their way there.
Neither bothered to argue the point with her, perhaps because the damage was already done. Estella smiled sadly, then patted down her pockets, brows furrowing slightly. It wasn’t clear exactly what she was doing until Leon beat her to it, handing her a clean handkerchief from one of his own, which she accepted wordlessly, adjusting herself so that she was half-sitting on the arm of Asala’s chair, dabbing gently underneath her eyes to help blot the tears away.
“Maybe,” she conceded in a murmur. “But you can’t go on like this, Asala. You can’t let the waiting drain you as it is. You have to sleep, and eat.”
"I am... I am not hungry," she said in between sobs, pushing the tray with the silver dish further up the desk. "I-I am so-sorry. I just... I just really need to be... be alone for now."
Estella sighed, almost imperceptibly, but then she nodded. “Okay.” She folded the handkerchief and placed it on the desk, squeezing Asala’s shoulder and rising from her spot. “If you need us, we’ll be here.” Clearly, neither she nor Leon were going to insist on remaining present, and they took a discreet exit thereafter, the latter closing the door carefully behind him.
With Estella and Leon having left, Asala no longer had to hold herself together for their sakes, finally allowing the tears to fall freely. She picked herself up from the chair and threw herself heavily onto the bed where she began to sob heavily. She cried until she fell asleep.
This time, her dreams did not hold any happy moments for her.
Beside that was a cauldron that held enough water to give all of their patients. Presently, Asala stood at the table, her back hunched over so that she could reach the bottle. She was mixing a potion for one of the soldiers who had their leg broken from a nasty fall due to some of the stones on the wall giving away. Meanwhile on the floor next to her, the tranquil Milly was hard at work constructing a cast for the man.
With the potion mixed, Asala turned and crossed the room to where the man sat with his back against the wall. Groans and mumbling came from all around her from soldiers with afflictions. There were many with fevers and pneumonia due to the cold they had to trudge through. Donovan and the other mages made rounds to aid as many as they could, but they were clearly understaffed and under supplied. Even now, Aurora and some of the others were out beyond the castle walls to try and find herbs that they could use. She knelt by the soldier and put a comforting smile on her face before she offered the potion. "This will help with the pain and the healing," she explained, guiding it to his mouth and helping him drink it.
The smile faded as she stood and allowed Milly to take her place and begin to gently wrap the leg in a cast. She returned to the table and reached for another bottle to begin the process again, but she missed and knocked a bottle over, clattering against another. She jumped out of surprised and let out a low squeak, but fortunately she did not break anything. She was still tired, even when they had stopped moving and with a roof over their heads. She was too worried to sleep, her mind awash in thoughts she'd rather not think.
She placed the bottles upright again, and before she was able to return mixing, a firm hand descended on her shoulder and she turned to Donovan's stoic face. "Go rest," he urged. Reflexively her mouth opened to refuse, but before she could get a word out, Donovan cut her off. "Go. We will be fine," he said. She hesitated for a moment, but by the grip he had on her shoulder, he would not take no for answer. Finally she acquiesced, taking her leave through the door and out of the tower. She did not make it far, however, plopping down against the wall beside the door.
There were dozens of people moving about outside, as was to be expected, given the mountain of work that was yet to be done. Some noticed her odd positioning by the door and offered sympathetic smiles, their arms burdened down with debris or, going the other way, measured beams of wood or masonry supplies and who knew what else. Clearly, the Inquisition’s leadership had wasted no time in requisitioning whatever they could as far as essentials.
It wasn’t long before two much more familiar faces approached. Leon looked the slightest bit apprehensive, but he was carrying a wooden tray in one hand, covered over by a metal dome with a handle at the top. Estella had a bundle of blankets over one arm and a pillow tucked under the other. They both looked a bit surprised to see her where she was, but glanced at each other wordlessly, then approached.
“Asala?” Estella spoke first, her voice soft and gentle, almost difficult to hear until she took another few steps, to crouch beside her, shifting the burdens in her hands slightly so that one was free to gently touch Asala's arm, at the bicep. “Are you all right? Can you walk a bit farther?”
"I am fine, just... tired," she said. By the ways her words were drawn out and the bags that stayed under her eyes even after they reached Skyhold said that she was more than just tired. Still, she kept it bottled away for the moment and put a hand against the masonry behind her to help her to her feet. She was unsteady at first, catching Estella's shoulder to help find her legs under her again before she nodded an extending a hand, allowing Estella and Leon to take the lead.
Leon did lead, but Estella stayed back by Asala’s side, keeping a light contact with her elbow—little more than a brush of the fingers, but close enough obviously to become a stronger effort at steadying if she proved to be in need of it. As promised, they didn’t go far, only to the next tower, which was also in relatively good shape.
Entering it brought them into a small hallway, with two doors on either side. Leon took the first one on the left, which opened up into a comfortably-sized room. Clearly, some work had been put into it—the floor had been swept, washed, and then covered in a thick, plush rug, patterned in red and orange. Against the far wall, which also sported a window with a latch, was a wooden bedframe and a currently-bare mattress. A desk, stuffed armchair, and small bookcase completed the arrangement, most of the furnishings looking either new or like someone had gone to a fair bit of work making them useable after a period of time.
“It’s not much,” Estella said, half-smiling and moving to deposit the linens and pillows on the bed, “But we wanted to give you someplace that would just be yours. We’ve had people building bunks and the like since we got here, but… uh.” She glanced at Leon, who shrugged.
“I can wait for an office chair.” Now that he had the opportunity, he set the tray down on the desk. “We brought you lunch, also. We’re…” he hesitated, looking distinctly uncomfortable.
“We’re worried about you.”
"What? Why?" she asked, genuine confusion in her voice. "I am fine, r-really," she said, though she noticably swayed. She had put so much of herself into her work lately, that she no longer felt exhausted, only numb. Her mind worked faster than it should've and all of her thoughts jumbled into an inchorent mess. It was fortunate she manged to find a thread and follow it.
"There are others..." she said, pointing back the way they came. In another moment of confusion, she did manage to take a moment to look at the room they were in, before shaking her head again, "I-I-I cannot. It is too nice. Wh-what of you? Estella? Do you not need a room? Leon? Surely there is someone who needs it more than me," she asked.
Leon was quicker to her side, but despite the urgency of the initial movement, he was extremely careful in his contact, laying one hand on her shoulder and the other at the center of her back, gently guiding her into the chair, perhaps from fear for her continued stability. “Everyone who needs a place to sleep has one, or will soon,” he assured her. “There’s no need for you to be concerned about that.”
He removed his hands once she was safely lowered into the chair, and took a half-step back, probably out of respect for her space, but Estella was a little less reserved in that respect, crouching on the opposite side of the chair and resting a hand on Asala’s knee. “I’m fine,” she confirmed softly. “I’m less sure you are. Asala… it’s been nearly two weeks. I’m just…” she swallowed thickly. There was no need to ask what she was talking about. The solemn silence that had descended over the three of them was indication enough.
"He promised," Asala said quietly, her hands neatly folded into her lap. It was what kept her up the nights since they escaped Haven, and was why she pushed herself so hard now. She had hoped by throwing herself into her work, she wouldn't have time to think, and by the time she was done she would be too tired to dream. It had not been like that. She still thought of it in between brewing potions, and those very same thoughts kept her from her sleep, despite how tired she was. Even so, she still believe Meraad would come back, and soon. "It is... Haven is a long way away. He-he just hasn't had time to get here yet."
He always came for her. Back home, he'd be the one to pull her from her studies. He found her in Haven after the Conclave was destroyed, and he'd find her again, at Skyhold. He was too impatient not to. She only wished he would hurry, she was tired of worrying for him.
“Miss Asala…” Leon’s tone was heavy, and sounded almost as exhausted as she felt. “Rilien’s already sent agents to search Haven and the surrounding area. The only people alive there are Venatori.” He said it as gently as possible, clearly well aware of how terrible the news was. “I’m sorry—more than I can say. He made a sacrifice few would be brave enough to even consider. But that’s what it was: a sacrifice. And I think you know that, too.”
Asala shook her head vigorously, throwing white strands of hair into her face. "He promised," she repeated again. "They-they cannot find him because he is... he is on his way. Here. Now," she said, though the pain was beginning to blossom in her face. "They all are. Romulus and... and Khari. He promised," despite herself, the tears began to flow from her eyes, which she quickly tried to wipe away. She didn't believe it, she couldn't believe it. She had to believe that they were somewhere in the mountains they had trekked, on their way there.
Neither bothered to argue the point with her, perhaps because the damage was already done. Estella smiled sadly, then patted down her pockets, brows furrowing slightly. It wasn’t clear exactly what she was doing until Leon beat her to it, handing her a clean handkerchief from one of his own, which she accepted wordlessly, adjusting herself so that she was half-sitting on the arm of Asala’s chair, dabbing gently underneath her eyes to help blot the tears away.
“Maybe,” she conceded in a murmur. “But you can’t go on like this, Asala. You can’t let the waiting drain you as it is. You have to sleep, and eat.”
"I am... I am not hungry," she said in between sobs, pushing the tray with the silver dish further up the desk. "I-I am so-sorry. I just... I just really need to be... be alone for now."
Estella sighed, almost imperceptibly, but then she nodded. “Okay.” She folded the handkerchief and placed it on the desk, squeezing Asala’s shoulder and rising from her spot. “If you need us, we’ll be here.” Clearly, neither she nor Leon were going to insist on remaining present, and they took a discreet exit thereafter, the latter closing the door carefully behind him.
With Estella and Leon having left, Asala no longer had to hold herself together for their sakes, finally allowing the tears to fall freely. She picked herself up from the chair and threw herself heavily onto the bed where she began to sob heavily. She cried until she fell asleep.
This time, her dreams did not hold any happy moments for her.