By the time another day had passed, the Inquisition's army was solidly staged, catapults and all, at the ironically-named Griffon Wing Keep. Ironic since they planned to launch an attack on the Grey Wardens from here.
Obviously, this was not a position Estella had ever thought to find herself in. She'd always been taught good things about the Grey Wardens—even in Tevinter, where they were sometimes disdained for meddling in magicks they seemed to know very little about. Even there, they were usually at least grudgingly respected. Seen as a necessary measure against Blights and the darkspawn. At least in her experience. Elsewhere, the praise was less qualified. Sometimes completely unqualified: the Grey Wardens made a great and noble sacrifice to defend the world from enemies it would otherwise have no ability to withstand.
To have to act against them—to attack them—was harder for her to comprehend than the necessity of dealing with Venatori cultists or corrupted Red Templars. It wasn't hard to look at her homeland and find evil and desperation intimately intertwined. Nor was it impossible to believe of the order. Not after Meredith. But to Estella, the Grey Wardens would always look like Nostariel. The first person she ever met in Kirkwall, the healer who'd brought her back from the brink of an inglorious death on the Wounded Coast. And though most of what had happened to her there would always be in terms of Rilien and Commander Lucien and her friends in the Lions, she had never forgotten that initial kindness, as suspicious as it had made her at the time.
Nostariel was obviously more than just a Grey Warden. But it could not have been easy for her, having to turn against her comrades like that. Estella could imagine how difficult it would be to stand against the Lions, when they were doing what they believed was right. And so in turn, this was not easy either. Perhaps it should not be.
“Nostariel?" She leaned her head into the healers' tent. Asala was not currently present, it seemed, and there were no patients any longer, but Nostariel was indeed there. “Aurora, Lia and I were going to get dinner from the mess tent. Would you like to come? We can eat in mine, if you prefer." It was still very strange to her that she had her own tent, when most shared. The least she could do was offer the excess space for this, she supposed.
Nostariel glanced up; she hadn't been doing much more than taking an inventory of their supplies, it looked like. Potion bottles, rolls of bandages, and bundles of herbs were all laid out neatly for counting; the clipboard held braced against one forearm looked to be one of the Quartermaster's. Upon sight of Estella, she smiled warmly, not so unlike she had back then. “That sounds wonderful. I've been meaning to catch up with all of you, but I'm afraid the days have been so busy for all of us." She sighed through her nose. “Truthfully, I'm not even spending as much time with Ash as I'd like. But I'd love to take a break with you."
Setting the clipboard down, she briefly checked herself over, presumably for any dirt or debris she should take care of, but there was none. Following Estella out of the healers' tent, she jogged a couple of paces to walk apace with her. “I'm sure they've been busier for you than anyone, though, haven't they?"
Estella grimaced. “I don't know about busier or anything but... they've been different, for sure." She'd known this conversation would occur eventually, as versions of it had occurred with Sophia and Rilien and would surely eventually occur with Commander Lucien as well. She was glad to know they were concerned enough to ask after it, but thinking about it in such direct terms rarely did her confidence any favors. “It's... well. It's not just me, in any case, and I'm relieved about that." She tried for a smile, aware that she didn't quite get there.
“But I'm sure so long away from home wasn't easy for you, either." At least when Estella had this whole business foisted on her, she'd been able to deal with it in the company of people she knew and cared about. Who knew and cared about her, strange as that still sometimes felt. Nostariel and Stroud had, to her understanding, been fighting this battle themselves up until now, and been months in the Deep Roads before that. Probably on secret Warden business they couldn't even tell anyone else about. Even if they were friends... that was a lot of people to leave behind. Especially considering Ashton.
It was hard to imagine loving someone enough to be married to them and then having to spend so much time apart. But they weren't even the only people Estella knew in a situation like that.
“It wasn't." Nostariel didn't seem to have any problem admitting that. “Isn't. But... I think in situations like ours, hope is the most important thing. Hoping that what we're doing is important enough and will make enough difference that we won't have to do it forever." They reached the mess tent; Nostariel pulled aside the front flap and gestured Estella in ahead of herself, following right after. “And it helps, knowing that even with so much time and distance, so little between us changes. That goes for friends, too, of course. I heard you saw Sophia recently; how was she?"
“She looked even more like a Viscountess than before," Estella replied with a smile. “I'm sure Ashton has mentioned what they've done with the Circle and everything. But she seemed well. It was helpful to get some of her insight on leadership, actually; I think she understands what it's like to feel unprepared for something you have to do." Of course, Sophia had been preparing for most of her life to eventually assume her father's position, but timing could make a world of difference.
“The Lions are well, too," she continued, figuring Nostariel was likely to ask. “There's only a few here, but they're making a lot of difference, and they seem to be enjoying themselves. Cor especially, but you know what he's like. Commander Lucien's at Lydes, I think. His last letter said they're getting closer to a peace agreement. The optimistic estimate is about a year to bring everyone to the negotiating table, but in the meantime the fighting should taper off a little." Which was just as well; Orlais hardly needed to be further dividing itself when there was a bigger problem right under its nose. But even Estella knew that such processes were fragile—there could be resurgences and fluctuations in the violence any number of times before anything was ever decided, and any one of those flares could destroy what little chance there was for resolution. She didn't envy the Commander his task.
“I certainly hope so. Even we managed to hear about all of that, remote as we are." Nostariel shook her head, but did not speak again until she'd gathered what she wanted to eat and the two of them were leaving the mess tent and heading for Estella's. Since Aurora and Lia hadn't been in the mess, they were probably already there. “I'm glad everyone seems to be doing as well as can be expected, though."
That was... a fairly good way of putting it, actually. As well as could be expected. Estella gestured Nostariel into her tent ahead of herself, then followed. It looked like Lia and Aurora had indeed already made it. Estella smiled at both and settled into a chair.
The tent itself was modestly furnished; fortunately, she was not expected to hold meetings in it as a general rule—that was what the command tent was for. Aside from the cot and diminutive trunk at its foot, the only furniture was a rug and a square table with chairs around it, as well as a small, fold-able writing desk. The table was a tad cramped with four people, actually, but considering that they all knew each other at least moderately well, it stopped short of being uncomfortably awkward.
Nostariel settled herself between Estella and Lia, sitting across from Aurora. “It's good to see you; how have you both been?"
"Glad you could make it," Lia greeted first, offering Nostariel a smile. "We didn't really have any time to talk earlier. I've been good. Great, even." She spared a glance for Estella. "It doesn't feel right to be... thankful, or anything, for what's happened. But I really love the work I'm able to do here. Not that I didn't love being with the Lions, and I'll absolutely go back when we're done, but I can't imagine myself being anywhere else right now." She tapped the back of her hand to Aurora's wrist. "And with all the company that came along from Kirkwall, sometimes it doesn't feel too far from home."
The Warden nodded, still smiling. “You're Scout-Captain, as I hear it. Quite an impressive accomplishment. I'm sure your teacher would be proud but unsurprised." After taking a moment to begin eating, Nostariel continued. “Have you heard anything from Ithilian, by the way? Or Amalia? News of them seems harder to come by than news of anyone else. On purpose, I've no doubt."
"I haven't, no." Lia looked understandably disappointed to be admitting that as she picked at her own food. "Not since before the Conclave, anyway. I'm not sure they even know what's become of me. I asked Ashton if they ever stopped back in Kirkwall, but if they had, he never heard about it. I'd hoped to ask you if you'd come across them before we found out what all was going on, but obviously you've had your own problems to deal with." She took another bite, appearing to chew on her thoughts simultaneously. "I'm sure they're alright, though, wherever they are."
“I can't imagine otherwise." Nostariel's tone conveyed the utmost confidence. “I think... you'll probably see them again soon enough. They have a way of being where they're needed." She turned her eyes to the final member of their group. “Seems you're a captain now, too, Aurora. How did that come about?"
Aurora seemed to think about it for a moment before she shrugged. "The mages needed someone to help guide them and I was there, I suppose. Commander Leon and Estella just gave me the title," she was quiet for a moment before she continued, "It's not that different from Kirkwall, actually. Granted, the Inquisition has a lot more battle ready mages than my group had in those days."
She closed her eyes and shook her head slightly, tsking before she spoke again, "I... meant to come see you earlier, but I got caught up in preparing them," Aurora's mages would no doubt play a part in the Wardens' seige, it only made sense that she had to prepare them for it as much as she could. "Sorry. It's really good to see you again," she said with a smile. It seemed that she was still happy to see Nostariel.
"But enough about me, how about you? How are you doing? Besides dealing with the rest of the Wardens, of course. I assume Ash was ecstatic to see you too?" She said with a little smirk in her grin.
“No more than I was to see him, I think. It's been too long." Nostariel's latter statement seemed to serve more as a general sentiment than anything. She eased back in her chair a bit, tearing a chunk off of the crust of bread she'd picked up with the rest of her dinner. “Even considering the circumstances, I'm glad I could be here. Less so than if this were a more peaceful reunion, of course, but I'll take what I can get in that respect." Like Lia, she didn't seem to be particularly disturbed by the harsh conditions they were in. Being happy for some of the things they'd brought about was quite different from being happy that they had come about in the first place, after all.
“I think I'll take a bit of a break when we've dealt with Adamant, though. We might stay a while, but of course Ash will need to get back to Kirkwall. Best not to leave them without the Guard Captain for too long."
"Hmm," Aurora hummed with pursed lips. "Didn't think the Inquisition was much of a vacation spot," she said in good humor with a laugh. "Well, regardless, I look forward to it. I think you'll like Skyhold."
“And you're certainly welcome there," Estella added with a half-smile. “Even if you only stay for a little while."
Obviously, this was not a position Estella had ever thought to find herself in. She'd always been taught good things about the Grey Wardens—even in Tevinter, where they were sometimes disdained for meddling in magicks they seemed to know very little about. Even there, they were usually at least grudgingly respected. Seen as a necessary measure against Blights and the darkspawn. At least in her experience. Elsewhere, the praise was less qualified. Sometimes completely unqualified: the Grey Wardens made a great and noble sacrifice to defend the world from enemies it would otherwise have no ability to withstand.
To have to act against them—to attack them—was harder for her to comprehend than the necessity of dealing with Venatori cultists or corrupted Red Templars. It wasn't hard to look at her homeland and find evil and desperation intimately intertwined. Nor was it impossible to believe of the order. Not after Meredith. But to Estella, the Grey Wardens would always look like Nostariel. The first person she ever met in Kirkwall, the healer who'd brought her back from the brink of an inglorious death on the Wounded Coast. And though most of what had happened to her there would always be in terms of Rilien and Commander Lucien and her friends in the Lions, she had never forgotten that initial kindness, as suspicious as it had made her at the time.
Nostariel was obviously more than just a Grey Warden. But it could not have been easy for her, having to turn against her comrades like that. Estella could imagine how difficult it would be to stand against the Lions, when they were doing what they believed was right. And so in turn, this was not easy either. Perhaps it should not be.
“Nostariel?" She leaned her head into the healers' tent. Asala was not currently present, it seemed, and there were no patients any longer, but Nostariel was indeed there. “Aurora, Lia and I were going to get dinner from the mess tent. Would you like to come? We can eat in mine, if you prefer." It was still very strange to her that she had her own tent, when most shared. The least she could do was offer the excess space for this, she supposed.
Nostariel glanced up; she hadn't been doing much more than taking an inventory of their supplies, it looked like. Potion bottles, rolls of bandages, and bundles of herbs were all laid out neatly for counting; the clipboard held braced against one forearm looked to be one of the Quartermaster's. Upon sight of Estella, she smiled warmly, not so unlike she had back then. “That sounds wonderful. I've been meaning to catch up with all of you, but I'm afraid the days have been so busy for all of us." She sighed through her nose. “Truthfully, I'm not even spending as much time with Ash as I'd like. But I'd love to take a break with you."
Setting the clipboard down, she briefly checked herself over, presumably for any dirt or debris she should take care of, but there was none. Following Estella out of the healers' tent, she jogged a couple of paces to walk apace with her. “I'm sure they've been busier for you than anyone, though, haven't they?"
Estella grimaced. “I don't know about busier or anything but... they've been different, for sure." She'd known this conversation would occur eventually, as versions of it had occurred with Sophia and Rilien and would surely eventually occur with Commander Lucien as well. She was glad to know they were concerned enough to ask after it, but thinking about it in such direct terms rarely did her confidence any favors. “It's... well. It's not just me, in any case, and I'm relieved about that." She tried for a smile, aware that she didn't quite get there.
“But I'm sure so long away from home wasn't easy for you, either." At least when Estella had this whole business foisted on her, she'd been able to deal with it in the company of people she knew and cared about. Who knew and cared about her, strange as that still sometimes felt. Nostariel and Stroud had, to her understanding, been fighting this battle themselves up until now, and been months in the Deep Roads before that. Probably on secret Warden business they couldn't even tell anyone else about. Even if they were friends... that was a lot of people to leave behind. Especially considering Ashton.
It was hard to imagine loving someone enough to be married to them and then having to spend so much time apart. But they weren't even the only people Estella knew in a situation like that.
“It wasn't." Nostariel didn't seem to have any problem admitting that. “Isn't. But... I think in situations like ours, hope is the most important thing. Hoping that what we're doing is important enough and will make enough difference that we won't have to do it forever." They reached the mess tent; Nostariel pulled aside the front flap and gestured Estella in ahead of herself, following right after. “And it helps, knowing that even with so much time and distance, so little between us changes. That goes for friends, too, of course. I heard you saw Sophia recently; how was she?"
“She looked even more like a Viscountess than before," Estella replied with a smile. “I'm sure Ashton has mentioned what they've done with the Circle and everything. But she seemed well. It was helpful to get some of her insight on leadership, actually; I think she understands what it's like to feel unprepared for something you have to do." Of course, Sophia had been preparing for most of her life to eventually assume her father's position, but timing could make a world of difference.
“The Lions are well, too," she continued, figuring Nostariel was likely to ask. “There's only a few here, but they're making a lot of difference, and they seem to be enjoying themselves. Cor especially, but you know what he's like. Commander Lucien's at Lydes, I think. His last letter said they're getting closer to a peace agreement. The optimistic estimate is about a year to bring everyone to the negotiating table, but in the meantime the fighting should taper off a little." Which was just as well; Orlais hardly needed to be further dividing itself when there was a bigger problem right under its nose. But even Estella knew that such processes were fragile—there could be resurgences and fluctuations in the violence any number of times before anything was ever decided, and any one of those flares could destroy what little chance there was for resolution. She didn't envy the Commander his task.
“I certainly hope so. Even we managed to hear about all of that, remote as we are." Nostariel shook her head, but did not speak again until she'd gathered what she wanted to eat and the two of them were leaving the mess tent and heading for Estella's. Since Aurora and Lia hadn't been in the mess, they were probably already there. “I'm glad everyone seems to be doing as well as can be expected, though."
That was... a fairly good way of putting it, actually. As well as could be expected. Estella gestured Nostariel into her tent ahead of herself, then followed. It looked like Lia and Aurora had indeed already made it. Estella smiled at both and settled into a chair.
The tent itself was modestly furnished; fortunately, she was not expected to hold meetings in it as a general rule—that was what the command tent was for. Aside from the cot and diminutive trunk at its foot, the only furniture was a rug and a square table with chairs around it, as well as a small, fold-able writing desk. The table was a tad cramped with four people, actually, but considering that they all knew each other at least moderately well, it stopped short of being uncomfortably awkward.
Nostariel settled herself between Estella and Lia, sitting across from Aurora. “It's good to see you; how have you both been?"
"Glad you could make it," Lia greeted first, offering Nostariel a smile. "We didn't really have any time to talk earlier. I've been good. Great, even." She spared a glance for Estella. "It doesn't feel right to be... thankful, or anything, for what's happened. But I really love the work I'm able to do here. Not that I didn't love being with the Lions, and I'll absolutely go back when we're done, but I can't imagine myself being anywhere else right now." She tapped the back of her hand to Aurora's wrist. "And with all the company that came along from Kirkwall, sometimes it doesn't feel too far from home."
The Warden nodded, still smiling. “You're Scout-Captain, as I hear it. Quite an impressive accomplishment. I'm sure your teacher would be proud but unsurprised." After taking a moment to begin eating, Nostariel continued. “Have you heard anything from Ithilian, by the way? Or Amalia? News of them seems harder to come by than news of anyone else. On purpose, I've no doubt."
"I haven't, no." Lia looked understandably disappointed to be admitting that as she picked at her own food. "Not since before the Conclave, anyway. I'm not sure they even know what's become of me. I asked Ashton if they ever stopped back in Kirkwall, but if they had, he never heard about it. I'd hoped to ask you if you'd come across them before we found out what all was going on, but obviously you've had your own problems to deal with." She took another bite, appearing to chew on her thoughts simultaneously. "I'm sure they're alright, though, wherever they are."
“I can't imagine otherwise." Nostariel's tone conveyed the utmost confidence. “I think... you'll probably see them again soon enough. They have a way of being where they're needed." She turned her eyes to the final member of their group. “Seems you're a captain now, too, Aurora. How did that come about?"
Aurora seemed to think about it for a moment before she shrugged. "The mages needed someone to help guide them and I was there, I suppose. Commander Leon and Estella just gave me the title," she was quiet for a moment before she continued, "It's not that different from Kirkwall, actually. Granted, the Inquisition has a lot more battle ready mages than my group had in those days."
She closed her eyes and shook her head slightly, tsking before she spoke again, "I... meant to come see you earlier, but I got caught up in preparing them," Aurora's mages would no doubt play a part in the Wardens' seige, it only made sense that she had to prepare them for it as much as she could. "Sorry. It's really good to see you again," she said with a smile. It seemed that she was still happy to see Nostariel.
"But enough about me, how about you? How are you doing? Besides dealing with the rest of the Wardens, of course. I assume Ash was ecstatic to see you too?" She said with a little smirk in her grin.
“No more than I was to see him, I think. It's been too long." Nostariel's latter statement seemed to serve more as a general sentiment than anything. She eased back in her chair a bit, tearing a chunk off of the crust of bread she'd picked up with the rest of her dinner. “Even considering the circumstances, I'm glad I could be here. Less so than if this were a more peaceful reunion, of course, but I'll take what I can get in that respect." Like Lia, she didn't seem to be particularly disturbed by the harsh conditions they were in. Being happy for some of the things they'd brought about was quite different from being happy that they had come about in the first place, after all.
“I think I'll take a bit of a break when we've dealt with Adamant, though. We might stay a while, but of course Ash will need to get back to Kirkwall. Best not to leave them without the Guard Captain for too long."
"Hmm," Aurora hummed with pursed lips. "Didn't think the Inquisition was much of a vacation spot," she said in good humor with a laugh. "Well, regardless, I look forward to it. I think you'll like Skyhold."
“And you're certainly welcome there," Estella added with a half-smile. “Even if you only stay for a little while."