A woman could only take so much mystery before breaking down and demanding answers. Well, not so much demanding⊠perhaps, more like a gentle, nosy prodding towards someone who might be a little more susceptible to it. While Vesryn had initially been one of those prospects, sheâd usually only bumped into him whenever he chose to wander into the Heraldâs Rest. It was far easier forgetting about her curiosities when there were barmaids to ogle, and cheap ale to swim in. She always forgot. Besides, he was looking tired lately. Distractions were what she was best at. Causing a ruckus came second. She didnât mind offering either, whenever it was needed.
Rom was a clear no-go. Tight-lipped and faraway as he could be. That left her bonny lass, Stel. Zahra wondered why she hadnât simply gone to her straightaway. Itâd been awhile since they last sat down and just talked. A shame, really. Though she understood why. Since becoming one of the Inquisitionâs⊠Inquisitors, it was no wonder she was busy running around. She didnât envy her duties or her responsibilities. Beyond closing rifts with that nifty hand of hers, she wasnât even sure what those duties entailed. Perhaps, it was more of a figurehead position. Someone to look up to whenever they hurtled into battle. A symbol of hope. Either way, it mustâve been a hard burden to bear.
With destination in mind, Zahra cut through Skyholdâs grounds and found herself in front of Stelâs door. A bottle of wine was tucked underneath her armpit. A sweeter vintage that tasted more like strawberries than grapes; less harsh. Perfect for casual conversationâand loosening tongues, though she wasnât sure sheâd need the help. Stel seemed generally receptive to people who genuinely wanted to understand, which she did. She rapped her knuckles three times, and let herself in. The room itself didnât look much different. Lanterns and candlelight cast shadows across walls. A desk was in the middle. Stel was there, probably working. Zahra held the bottle aloft and tilted her head, âMight I commandeer you from your work for awhile?â
Stel glanced up as soon as she entered. There was a sheaf of parchments in one of her hands, and a crease in her brow that was slow to fade even as her expression morphed into a little smile. âCaptain Zahra." Her eyes, slightly unfocused, took a moment to clear, but when they did they moved to the bottle. A soft huff escaped her. âPlying me with wine and the promise of freedom. It almost makes me wonder if you want something." The smile curled a little further up her face, but her tone was light; clearly, nothing untoward meant.
âWould you like to come in? I probably should finish the rest of this sometime today, but I'm happy to take a break for a while." She gestured to a comfortable-looking cluster of armchairs arranged around a table not too far from the desk, and stood, stretching her arms over her head and sighing in something that sounded like relief.
Zahra raked her fingers through her hair and laughed. Leave it to Stel to see straight through her intentions, though if she left with no more answers than sheâd come in with she wouldnât have minded either way. Besides, she looked like she was swamped with work. Positively drowning in it if the knitted brows were anything to go by. Tired as hell. Neither would do. She gave the bottle an affectionate tap and took a few steps forward, âWhy, you wound me, darling.â A smarmy smile shifted across her features, âOf course, youâre right. Iâm looking for good conversation.â
She nodded her head and swaggered her way into one of the comfortable armchairs. Plopped down as if sheâd walked miles, and miles to Estellaâs cozy chamber. She hadnât⊠though sheâd be a fool not to take advantage of such comfortable furniture. Unfortunately, the Heraldâs wooden stools and chairs paled in comparison. Any drunken requests to renovate the place was met with incredulous looks, and deadpan explanations of how their finances needed to be focused elsewhere. Fair enough. âBetter leave it for later, I donât think itâs going anywhere. Unfortunately, I bet.â
Already plying the cork from the bottle with a small screw, Zahra gave it a sniff and grinned. Best to let it breathe. She settled the bottle on one of the tables and crossed her leg over her knee, patting the arm of her chair to indicate that Stel should join her.
Stel arched an eyebrow, clearly thinking about it, but shook her head slightly and took a seat in the armchair across from her instead, pulling two glasses down from a cabinet on the way. Those, she placed on the table between them, then leaned back into the chair, crossing one leg over the other and resting her hands in her lap. âConversation?" she echoed. âThere are much better wordsmiths to be found much closer to the tavern than me."
She tilted her head curiously. âUnless maybe the subject matter is something not many of them would know about?"
Zahra hummed in assent. Straight to the chase, then. Not that she particularly minded. âThat might be true, though Iâd rather it be you. Less bitey, I find.â Gentle, honest, kindly. It wasnât a lie. She couldâve spoken to someone else, and in some cases, she wouldâve preferred coming to see Stel under different pretences. Perhaps, where they could just have drinks and talk about nonsense, or whatever came to their minds. But there was a saying about an insatiable fondness for knowing things, and hers usually involved an intrusive regard for those she cared about.
She took the liberty to fill both glasses, bringing her own to rest on her knee, "Adamant Fortress. Itâs become a touchy subject of late, though my understanding of it⊠is a little charred.â A mischievous-eyed jest. She didnât remember much after the dragon anyhow. She brought the glass to her lips and took a swig before swilling the words in her mouth. It wasnât often that she chose her words carefully. Sheâd never tended towards civility or any type of decorumânot when she was being honest. What was the point of that?
That actually got a soft, breathy laugh out of Stel, who leaned forward to take the second glass in hand, drawing it back to hold steady, the bottom of it resting atop her thigh.
âI was hoping you could fill me in on what happened after you crossed the bridge,â she eyed Estella and paused for a moment, âI donât pretend to understand much of what the Inquisition does, or even what Iâve seen so far, but Iâd like to.â
The Inquisitor considered that for a moment, a troubled expression passing over her face for but a moment before it disappeared into her wineglass; she raised it and took a swallow. When she moved it back away, she wore a much more impassive one, though her eyes were still distant, like she was seeing something other than the room around them for a few moments. âI don't know how much anyone else has told you," she started, fingers tightening slightly on the stem. âBut I'll do my best. Pike collapsed the bridge, then pushed us all over with it using a spell. We were... we were falling."
She sighed. âI... used the mark. Opened a rift, and we all fell in. It separated us; when I woke up, I was alone. In the Fade, but physically. It's... not something most people think is possible. For a while, we mostly all just tried to find each other, I think. I ran into Ves first, and then we met up with the others. Cyrus figured the way to get us out again was to find a place where the Veil was thin so I could open another rift and put us back." Stel paused there, taking another sip and letting her eyes fall to Zahra's. Clearly, she was waiting to find out if there were questions.
âThe Fade!â The exclamation wormed itself out of Zahra's mouth before she could stop itâand she had the good sense to look a little embarrassed as she settled back in her chair, swirling the wine around in her glass. She couldnât help it. Not really. Those whoâd never had any inkling at all would never understand the Fade, nor how it would feel to wield such abilities. Even as young girl, sheâd always wondered. Silly little thoughts. Back then, sheâd thought that magic was capable of fixing everything. She cleared her throat and studied the red liquid for a moment before swinging her gaze back to Stelâs.
âI heard⊠the more sombre details,â she admitted with a sigh, tapping her fingernail against the glass. Only because sheâd been in the Heraldâs Rest. Not with the others, of course. She hadnât known Nostariel at all. She hardly knew the others whoâd been there as well, apart from the momentary glimpses in Skyhold. It was difficult to feel anything but the offhanded melancholy one felt when you knew someone you cared about had lost someone they cared about.
âWhat was it like in the Fade? What did you see?â
âThe realm we landed in belonged to a powerful Fear demon. Nightmare, it called itself." Stel's shoulders fell just slightly; in the flickering lantern light, the shadows across her face seemed to deepen as her angle changed. Her throat worked as she swallowed. âIt could... reach. Into our minds. See our fears and make them as real as anything. Or close enough." She pursed her lips. âParts of that are not mine to tell. But... I saw ghosts, I guess you might say. Heard their voicesâmy squad. Asha and Fyn, and all the rest." She shrugged and polished off the glass with a heavy exhalation at the end.
âEventually, we made it to Nightmare. He had this... this gigantic monster with him. Like a spider the size of a small building, almost. Cyrus fought it, kept it distracted. The rest of us killed the demon, but..." Her mouth twisted into a mirthless smile. âGetting out after wasn't a clean business. You know the rest, really."
âOh,â Zahraâs shoulders slumped a fraction as she leaned back in her chair. What had she expected? Certainly not that. Where sheâd once thought the Fade a dreamland of sortsâa place where anything was possible, if one searched long enough⊠it had been more a Nightmare, literally. She couldnât wrap her head around what rifts were, exactly. Or if there were different layers of the Fade. It wasnât really important and she didnât feel like she wanted to press further. A small bloom of guilt sat like a heavy stone in her belly, even with the wineâs warmth.
âIâm sorry you had to go through that. All of you.â If she was being honest with herself, she was glad she hadnât been thrown into the rift along with them, especially if it meant having to face her own greatest fears. How she would have fared in Stelâs place, she wasnât sure. From the expression pinched across her face, she could tell itâd been a wholly unpleasant experience. She tipped the glass to her lips and finished what was left. âThatâs not what I expected it to be like at all.â
She poured herself another glass and exhaled softly through her nose, a wry smile forming, âThis whole thing feels like a dream, sometimes. The Inquisition. Demons and dragons and bejewelled Templars. Being big bloody heroes. I hope Iâm not the only one that thinks it strange.â
Stel shook her head emphatically. âYou're not, trust me. Half the time when I wake up in the morning, I still expect to find myself back in Tevinter, or maybe Kirkwall or Val Royeaux if I'm lucky, just finished with the most bizarre dream I've ever had." She leaned forward, setting the empty wineglass in her hand back on the table in front of her. âBut you know... I think sometimes that would be almost... almost a little disappointing, now. I never thought so at the beginning. But we've done a lot worth doing, I think, and I'm glad to have been a part of it so far." Her smile was rueful.
âThough it might still be a little better if we'd never needed to, I suppose."
âSomeone once told me,â Zahra began with a wistful smile, and a cocked eyebrow, âEscape the ordinary. Well, I think weâve done a fine job doing that so far.â Aslan had said that. Once upon a time, when she was young and small and pitiful. Itâd been when she was teetering on the edge of despair, drowning herself at the local, dingy tavern. Simple words that carried her off to sea.
âSuppose youâre right⊠but then, none of us would have met.â Barely a beat passed before she tossed her head back with a loud laugh, and a twinkle in her eyes, âAnd that wouldâve been all the more disappointing.â
Rom was a clear no-go. Tight-lipped and faraway as he could be. That left her bonny lass, Stel. Zahra wondered why she hadnât simply gone to her straightaway. Itâd been awhile since they last sat down and just talked. A shame, really. Though she understood why. Since becoming one of the Inquisitionâs⊠Inquisitors, it was no wonder she was busy running around. She didnât envy her duties or her responsibilities. Beyond closing rifts with that nifty hand of hers, she wasnât even sure what those duties entailed. Perhaps, it was more of a figurehead position. Someone to look up to whenever they hurtled into battle. A symbol of hope. Either way, it mustâve been a hard burden to bear.
With destination in mind, Zahra cut through Skyholdâs grounds and found herself in front of Stelâs door. A bottle of wine was tucked underneath her armpit. A sweeter vintage that tasted more like strawberries than grapes; less harsh. Perfect for casual conversationâand loosening tongues, though she wasnât sure sheâd need the help. Stel seemed generally receptive to people who genuinely wanted to understand, which she did. She rapped her knuckles three times, and let herself in. The room itself didnât look much different. Lanterns and candlelight cast shadows across walls. A desk was in the middle. Stel was there, probably working. Zahra held the bottle aloft and tilted her head, âMight I commandeer you from your work for awhile?â
Stel glanced up as soon as she entered. There was a sheaf of parchments in one of her hands, and a crease in her brow that was slow to fade even as her expression morphed into a little smile. âCaptain Zahra." Her eyes, slightly unfocused, took a moment to clear, but when they did they moved to the bottle. A soft huff escaped her. âPlying me with wine and the promise of freedom. It almost makes me wonder if you want something." The smile curled a little further up her face, but her tone was light; clearly, nothing untoward meant.
âWould you like to come in? I probably should finish the rest of this sometime today, but I'm happy to take a break for a while." She gestured to a comfortable-looking cluster of armchairs arranged around a table not too far from the desk, and stood, stretching her arms over her head and sighing in something that sounded like relief.
Zahra raked her fingers through her hair and laughed. Leave it to Stel to see straight through her intentions, though if she left with no more answers than sheâd come in with she wouldnât have minded either way. Besides, she looked like she was swamped with work. Positively drowning in it if the knitted brows were anything to go by. Tired as hell. Neither would do. She gave the bottle an affectionate tap and took a few steps forward, âWhy, you wound me, darling.â A smarmy smile shifted across her features, âOf course, youâre right. Iâm looking for good conversation.â
She nodded her head and swaggered her way into one of the comfortable armchairs. Plopped down as if sheâd walked miles, and miles to Estellaâs cozy chamber. She hadnât⊠though sheâd be a fool not to take advantage of such comfortable furniture. Unfortunately, the Heraldâs wooden stools and chairs paled in comparison. Any drunken requests to renovate the place was met with incredulous looks, and deadpan explanations of how their finances needed to be focused elsewhere. Fair enough. âBetter leave it for later, I donât think itâs going anywhere. Unfortunately, I bet.â
Already plying the cork from the bottle with a small screw, Zahra gave it a sniff and grinned. Best to let it breathe. She settled the bottle on one of the tables and crossed her leg over her knee, patting the arm of her chair to indicate that Stel should join her.
Stel arched an eyebrow, clearly thinking about it, but shook her head slightly and took a seat in the armchair across from her instead, pulling two glasses down from a cabinet on the way. Those, she placed on the table between them, then leaned back into the chair, crossing one leg over the other and resting her hands in her lap. âConversation?" she echoed. âThere are much better wordsmiths to be found much closer to the tavern than me."
She tilted her head curiously. âUnless maybe the subject matter is something not many of them would know about?"
Zahra hummed in assent. Straight to the chase, then. Not that she particularly minded. âThat might be true, though Iâd rather it be you. Less bitey, I find.â Gentle, honest, kindly. It wasnât a lie. She couldâve spoken to someone else, and in some cases, she wouldâve preferred coming to see Stel under different pretences. Perhaps, where they could just have drinks and talk about nonsense, or whatever came to their minds. But there was a saying about an insatiable fondness for knowing things, and hers usually involved an intrusive regard for those she cared about.
She took the liberty to fill both glasses, bringing her own to rest on her knee, "Adamant Fortress. Itâs become a touchy subject of late, though my understanding of it⊠is a little charred.â A mischievous-eyed jest. She didnât remember much after the dragon anyhow. She brought the glass to her lips and took a swig before swilling the words in her mouth. It wasnât often that she chose her words carefully. Sheâd never tended towards civility or any type of decorumânot when she was being honest. What was the point of that?
That actually got a soft, breathy laugh out of Stel, who leaned forward to take the second glass in hand, drawing it back to hold steady, the bottom of it resting atop her thigh.
âI was hoping you could fill me in on what happened after you crossed the bridge,â she eyed Estella and paused for a moment, âI donât pretend to understand much of what the Inquisition does, or even what Iâve seen so far, but Iâd like to.â
The Inquisitor considered that for a moment, a troubled expression passing over her face for but a moment before it disappeared into her wineglass; she raised it and took a swallow. When she moved it back away, she wore a much more impassive one, though her eyes were still distant, like she was seeing something other than the room around them for a few moments. âI don't know how much anyone else has told you," she started, fingers tightening slightly on the stem. âBut I'll do my best. Pike collapsed the bridge, then pushed us all over with it using a spell. We were... we were falling."
She sighed. âI... used the mark. Opened a rift, and we all fell in. It separated us; when I woke up, I was alone. In the Fade, but physically. It's... not something most people think is possible. For a while, we mostly all just tried to find each other, I think. I ran into Ves first, and then we met up with the others. Cyrus figured the way to get us out again was to find a place where the Veil was thin so I could open another rift and put us back." Stel paused there, taking another sip and letting her eyes fall to Zahra's. Clearly, she was waiting to find out if there were questions.
âThe Fade!â The exclamation wormed itself out of Zahra's mouth before she could stop itâand she had the good sense to look a little embarrassed as she settled back in her chair, swirling the wine around in her glass. She couldnât help it. Not really. Those whoâd never had any inkling at all would never understand the Fade, nor how it would feel to wield such abilities. Even as young girl, sheâd always wondered. Silly little thoughts. Back then, sheâd thought that magic was capable of fixing everything. She cleared her throat and studied the red liquid for a moment before swinging her gaze back to Stelâs.
âI heard⊠the more sombre details,â she admitted with a sigh, tapping her fingernail against the glass. Only because sheâd been in the Heraldâs Rest. Not with the others, of course. She hadnât known Nostariel at all. She hardly knew the others whoâd been there as well, apart from the momentary glimpses in Skyhold. It was difficult to feel anything but the offhanded melancholy one felt when you knew someone you cared about had lost someone they cared about.
âWhat was it like in the Fade? What did you see?â
âThe realm we landed in belonged to a powerful Fear demon. Nightmare, it called itself." Stel's shoulders fell just slightly; in the flickering lantern light, the shadows across her face seemed to deepen as her angle changed. Her throat worked as she swallowed. âIt could... reach. Into our minds. See our fears and make them as real as anything. Or close enough." She pursed her lips. âParts of that are not mine to tell. But... I saw ghosts, I guess you might say. Heard their voicesâmy squad. Asha and Fyn, and all the rest." She shrugged and polished off the glass with a heavy exhalation at the end.
âEventually, we made it to Nightmare. He had this... this gigantic monster with him. Like a spider the size of a small building, almost. Cyrus fought it, kept it distracted. The rest of us killed the demon, but..." Her mouth twisted into a mirthless smile. âGetting out after wasn't a clean business. You know the rest, really."
âOh,â Zahraâs shoulders slumped a fraction as she leaned back in her chair. What had she expected? Certainly not that. Where sheâd once thought the Fade a dreamland of sortsâa place where anything was possible, if one searched long enough⊠it had been more a Nightmare, literally. She couldnât wrap her head around what rifts were, exactly. Or if there were different layers of the Fade. It wasnât really important and she didnât feel like she wanted to press further. A small bloom of guilt sat like a heavy stone in her belly, even with the wineâs warmth.
âIâm sorry you had to go through that. All of you.â If she was being honest with herself, she was glad she hadnât been thrown into the rift along with them, especially if it meant having to face her own greatest fears. How she would have fared in Stelâs place, she wasnât sure. From the expression pinched across her face, she could tell itâd been a wholly unpleasant experience. She tipped the glass to her lips and finished what was left. âThatâs not what I expected it to be like at all.â
She poured herself another glass and exhaled softly through her nose, a wry smile forming, âThis whole thing feels like a dream, sometimes. The Inquisition. Demons and dragons and bejewelled Templars. Being big bloody heroes. I hope Iâm not the only one that thinks it strange.â
Stel shook her head emphatically. âYou're not, trust me. Half the time when I wake up in the morning, I still expect to find myself back in Tevinter, or maybe Kirkwall or Val Royeaux if I'm lucky, just finished with the most bizarre dream I've ever had." She leaned forward, setting the empty wineglass in her hand back on the table in front of her. âBut you know... I think sometimes that would be almost... almost a little disappointing, now. I never thought so at the beginning. But we've done a lot worth doing, I think, and I'm glad to have been a part of it so far." Her smile was rueful.
âThough it might still be a little better if we'd never needed to, I suppose."
âSomeone once told me,â Zahra began with a wistful smile, and a cocked eyebrow, âEscape the ordinary. Well, I think weâve done a fine job doing that so far.â Aslan had said that. Once upon a time, when she was young and small and pitiful. Itâd been when she was teetering on the edge of despair, drowning herself at the local, dingy tavern. Simple words that carried her off to sea.
âSuppose youâre right⊠but then, none of us would have met.â Barely a beat passed before she tossed her head back with a loud laugh, and a twinkle in her eyes, âAnd that wouldâve been all the more disappointing.â