Romulus watched as Mayor Gregory Dedrick was taken from the hall in chains, to an uncertain fate in Denerim.
He hadn't been with the party that spoke with him, and traveled deep under Old Crestwood to close the rift there. Old Crestwood, the town the mayor had seen flooded to remove the refugees from concern, and keep the Blight at bay. It was a complex situation, and a difficult decision he'd chosen to make. One that Romulus could even see the value in. Crestwood may not have survived the Fifth Blight at all if he had done nothing. But that did not mean he was free of guilt, or that his murdering of hundreds of his own people was justified.
Dedrick's guilt was further evidenced by his decision to flee from the village upon their return, and it wasn't until a few days ago that Rilien's agents were able to track him down, hiding out in a village halfway to the Waking Sea's coast. He was hauled back to Skyhold, and Romulus was chosen to sit and render an impartial judgement. As he was learning, the wisest course for himself and for the Inquisition was often to make no judgement at all. His crimes had not been committed against the Inquisition, unless lying was counted. He had killed people of Ferelden, and so it was to Denerim he would be sent, to be judged by King Alistair. Few knew the horrors the Blight could bring better than he and his wife.
Upon tersely confirming that there was nothing else requiring his attention with Lady Marceline, Romulus made his escape from the throne, briefly watching as those gathered for the judgement dispersed. There were not nearly so many as for the likes of Elias Pike, but still more than Romulus was comfortable with. Always more. This time, however, he noticed Asala among the crowd. He couldn't recall if she'd ever attended one of these before, but she seemed to be waiting for him, or perhaps trying to catch his attention.
Making his way over to her, he stopped just before he would need to look up at her more than he was comfortable with. "Did you need something, Asala?"
"Uh, yes. Kind of, actually," Asala said said as she straightened out the wrinkles in her scarlet robes. Noticeably, she didn't raise her head to look at him until later. "I wanted to apologize for... you know, the thing in the Fade," she said. "Do you want to go elsewhere or...?" she asked raising a finger and swinging it around to indicate a nondescript location.
It was probably best, wasn't it? He gestured sideways with his head. "Come on, this way." He turned around and led her back through the main hall, through the still scattering Inquisition personnel and Skyhold staff. Few of them used the door that led down to the undercroft, and it was this one that he opened now. Asala had never actually been down here before, he didn't think. Very few had, and even fewer with any regularity. Just Khari, occasionally Zahra, and a few Inquisition messengers, in the event his presence was needed anywhere immediately, as it had been in the throne room.
He opened the door first and allowed Asala to enter, closing it behind them. "Have a seat if you like." The couch was well worked in by this point, mostly Khari's doing. She usually didn't come by to continue her physical training after all, barring the times they practiced hand to hand techniques. Romulus stepped lightly down the stairs towards his alchemy workplace, quickly flipping over a parchment and shoving back a few jars with various reagents. There were few who knew anything about his alchemy, and he preferred to keep it that way, especially around those who might acquire the knowledge more quickly.
Turning back, he walked back up towards the front of the room and turned the chair at his desk around to face Asala. "You don't have to apologize," he said, sinking down into it. "It was my choice to help." He exhaled. "You didn't even see the worst of it. Unless... shit, you haven't talked to Zee, have you?"
"Zee? No, why? Should--" she stopped herself with a thoughtful glance and shook her head. Either she thought better of the question she was about to ask or... would ask Zee about it later. Asala had taken the offered seat on the couch, sitting in it straight, her hands folded on top of each other on her lap. She didn't look uncomfortable, just polite. "I just wanted to apologize for the Fade. I didn't know that Ethne would have pit us against demons as her trial," Asala said, with a thoughtful.
"I... would have warned you all had I known."
Romulus brushed lightly at his nose once, half-smiling at her. "Asala... it was a dream. I'm no mage, and I've never really done anything like that, but I'm pretty sure we weren't physically there this time. It felt different, anyway." He was very glad Asala hadn't been forced into Nightmare's realm with them all. Though she'd passed Ethne's trial, Nightmare had been another matter entirely. Not interested in helping, even if the eating of one's fears could be considered beneficial in a certain light. No, it was interested in creating fear as well as consuming it. Interested in being the source of its own strength. He wasn't sure if she would've survived a place like that. Especially if it had taken a woman like Nostariel.
"All of us agreed willingly to help you, and we all knew there would be a trial involved. You did the right thing when the time came for it. And that's more than many of us could've done. Maybe any of us." It had been an interesting experience to observe. To think that even the lowliest of creatures might be spared in order to win the favor of Compassion. It was something Romulus knew he did not have in him. Even were he to pull himself from the dark thoughts he'd been so trained to think, he would never reach that sort of place. Nor did he think he wanted to. It was a role that could only be filled by the likes of Asala.
Asala shrugged, occupying the moment by dragging a lock of hair out of her face and back behind her horns. Though that couldn't hide the blush blossoming on her face. "That is, uh, kind of you to say. Thank you," she said, stammering only a small amount. "It is just that I did not expect Compassion's test to involve an exchange with demons. It did not seem like a compassionate test in the moment, when looked at from afar but I understand its meaning." Her hand had moved from her lap to rest gently under her chin, causing her to seem even more pensive than she before.
"I am sorry," she said shaking her head with a smile. "I have been thinking about it a lot lately." With that, she leaned back on the couch, letting her hand fall back on her lap. She seemed less rigid now and more comfortable. "Before that, however. When Ethne asked why I was there... I think I realized something."
Tests of anything weren't supposed to be situations where it was easy to perform. Testing one's ability to kill without hesitation wasn't done when the subject's life was threatened, but rather when the target to be killed had no defenses. When they were helpless, restrained. That was the true test of one's depths. The true test of one's heights had to come in the same way, then. It was easy for Asala to show compassion to her friends, her allies. It was much harder to show compassion to loathsome demons that sought their deaths. Or appeared to, at least.
"What did you realize?" he asked, urging her to continue.
"I had never really thought about it before," she began, before straightening back out so she could see him better. "The Inquisition, I mean. Why I am here?" She added, before raising a hand in order to give herself more time to explain. "Not that I would have left under any circumstance, certainly not. I would still remain even if I had thought about it. But I just never asked myself why that is, you understand?" She then smiled at him apologetically and limply shook her head. "I apologize if I am not making much sense," she added.
She shrugged regardless and began to speak some more. "When Ethne asked why I sought her out... I felt the answer I gave is the same for why I am still here. I had just never thought of it before," she said, leaning back into a more relaxed posture. "I... want to help. Tammy was right, there is too much hurt in the world. And it feels like we--the Inquisition, I mean, is the only thing attempting to do anything about it, and that is why I want to continue to be a part of it. I feel that we are... doing good, and people need that."
That didn't come as much of a shock to Romulus. Asala had saved his life alongside Estella's before she'd even met them, after they staggered out of the rift at the Temple of Sacred Ashes. Asala, a former Qunari saarebas and in the south, an apostate that was risking her very life by placing herself near the Templar Order. She didn't have to do any of that, but she did. Khari was the same way. She didn't have to risk her life fighting demons and servants of Corypheus when the matter could be left to others, but she did. Romulus was not ashamed to admit to himself that he would not have stayed, had he not been marked by the orb that Corypheus had wielded. He would have returned home to Minrathous and reported to his domina, and allowed other men and women to risk their lives in his place. But he was not Khari, and he was not Asala.
"That's good to hear, Asala," he said, trying to be reassuring. "That said, I have a request for you. If you ever feel that the Inquisition, or any person in it, is not doing good... don't stay silent about it. Not all of us can devote ourselves to Compassion, but for some of us it can be easy to lose our way. Don't ever assume that the Inquisition will always be good, even if you're doing all you can to keep it that way."
"I... will keep that in mind," she said, though she seemed rather uncomfortable with the idea. That wasn't surprising as well, Asala was the type who seemed to always try to see the best in people. Still, after some thought she appeared to accept it. "And, uh, thank you Romulus. For listening," she said with something of a embarrassed look, "I did not mean to give you a speech on you," she added with a chuckle.
"Khari tells me I'm not a bad listener," he answered, grinning a little. "If you need anything else, you can usually find me here. Just... knock, please. Even if the door's open." He gestured for the door with his head. "Now go on, get out of here. I'm sure you've got work to do, spirit healer."
"A lot of work, unfortunately. As it turns out, there is a whole process in becoming one," Asala said, a smile denoting the joke.
He hadn't been with the party that spoke with him, and traveled deep under Old Crestwood to close the rift there. Old Crestwood, the town the mayor had seen flooded to remove the refugees from concern, and keep the Blight at bay. It was a complex situation, and a difficult decision he'd chosen to make. One that Romulus could even see the value in. Crestwood may not have survived the Fifth Blight at all if he had done nothing. But that did not mean he was free of guilt, or that his murdering of hundreds of his own people was justified.
Dedrick's guilt was further evidenced by his decision to flee from the village upon their return, and it wasn't until a few days ago that Rilien's agents were able to track him down, hiding out in a village halfway to the Waking Sea's coast. He was hauled back to Skyhold, and Romulus was chosen to sit and render an impartial judgement. As he was learning, the wisest course for himself and for the Inquisition was often to make no judgement at all. His crimes had not been committed against the Inquisition, unless lying was counted. He had killed people of Ferelden, and so it was to Denerim he would be sent, to be judged by King Alistair. Few knew the horrors the Blight could bring better than he and his wife.
Upon tersely confirming that there was nothing else requiring his attention with Lady Marceline, Romulus made his escape from the throne, briefly watching as those gathered for the judgement dispersed. There were not nearly so many as for the likes of Elias Pike, but still more than Romulus was comfortable with. Always more. This time, however, he noticed Asala among the crowd. He couldn't recall if she'd ever attended one of these before, but she seemed to be waiting for him, or perhaps trying to catch his attention.
Making his way over to her, he stopped just before he would need to look up at her more than he was comfortable with. "Did you need something, Asala?"
"Uh, yes. Kind of, actually," Asala said said as she straightened out the wrinkles in her scarlet robes. Noticeably, she didn't raise her head to look at him until later. "I wanted to apologize for... you know, the thing in the Fade," she said. "Do you want to go elsewhere or...?" she asked raising a finger and swinging it around to indicate a nondescript location.
It was probably best, wasn't it? He gestured sideways with his head. "Come on, this way." He turned around and led her back through the main hall, through the still scattering Inquisition personnel and Skyhold staff. Few of them used the door that led down to the undercroft, and it was this one that he opened now. Asala had never actually been down here before, he didn't think. Very few had, and even fewer with any regularity. Just Khari, occasionally Zahra, and a few Inquisition messengers, in the event his presence was needed anywhere immediately, as it had been in the throne room.
He opened the door first and allowed Asala to enter, closing it behind them. "Have a seat if you like." The couch was well worked in by this point, mostly Khari's doing. She usually didn't come by to continue her physical training after all, barring the times they practiced hand to hand techniques. Romulus stepped lightly down the stairs towards his alchemy workplace, quickly flipping over a parchment and shoving back a few jars with various reagents. There were few who knew anything about his alchemy, and he preferred to keep it that way, especially around those who might acquire the knowledge more quickly.
Turning back, he walked back up towards the front of the room and turned the chair at his desk around to face Asala. "You don't have to apologize," he said, sinking down into it. "It was my choice to help." He exhaled. "You didn't even see the worst of it. Unless... shit, you haven't talked to Zee, have you?"
"Zee? No, why? Should--" she stopped herself with a thoughtful glance and shook her head. Either she thought better of the question she was about to ask or... would ask Zee about it later. Asala had taken the offered seat on the couch, sitting in it straight, her hands folded on top of each other on her lap. She didn't look uncomfortable, just polite. "I just wanted to apologize for the Fade. I didn't know that Ethne would have pit us against demons as her trial," Asala said, with a thoughtful.
"I... would have warned you all had I known."
Romulus brushed lightly at his nose once, half-smiling at her. "Asala... it was a dream. I'm no mage, and I've never really done anything like that, but I'm pretty sure we weren't physically there this time. It felt different, anyway." He was very glad Asala hadn't been forced into Nightmare's realm with them all. Though she'd passed Ethne's trial, Nightmare had been another matter entirely. Not interested in helping, even if the eating of one's fears could be considered beneficial in a certain light. No, it was interested in creating fear as well as consuming it. Interested in being the source of its own strength. He wasn't sure if she would've survived a place like that. Especially if it had taken a woman like Nostariel.
"All of us agreed willingly to help you, and we all knew there would be a trial involved. You did the right thing when the time came for it. And that's more than many of us could've done. Maybe any of us." It had been an interesting experience to observe. To think that even the lowliest of creatures might be spared in order to win the favor of Compassion. It was something Romulus knew he did not have in him. Even were he to pull himself from the dark thoughts he'd been so trained to think, he would never reach that sort of place. Nor did he think he wanted to. It was a role that could only be filled by the likes of Asala.
Asala shrugged, occupying the moment by dragging a lock of hair out of her face and back behind her horns. Though that couldn't hide the blush blossoming on her face. "That is, uh, kind of you to say. Thank you," she said, stammering only a small amount. "It is just that I did not expect Compassion's test to involve an exchange with demons. It did not seem like a compassionate test in the moment, when looked at from afar but I understand its meaning." Her hand had moved from her lap to rest gently under her chin, causing her to seem even more pensive than she before.
"I am sorry," she said shaking her head with a smile. "I have been thinking about it a lot lately." With that, she leaned back on the couch, letting her hand fall back on her lap. She seemed less rigid now and more comfortable. "Before that, however. When Ethne asked why I was there... I think I realized something."
Tests of anything weren't supposed to be situations where it was easy to perform. Testing one's ability to kill without hesitation wasn't done when the subject's life was threatened, but rather when the target to be killed had no defenses. When they were helpless, restrained. That was the true test of one's depths. The true test of one's heights had to come in the same way, then. It was easy for Asala to show compassion to her friends, her allies. It was much harder to show compassion to loathsome demons that sought their deaths. Or appeared to, at least.
"What did you realize?" he asked, urging her to continue.
"I had never really thought about it before," she began, before straightening back out so she could see him better. "The Inquisition, I mean. Why I am here?" She added, before raising a hand in order to give herself more time to explain. "Not that I would have left under any circumstance, certainly not. I would still remain even if I had thought about it. But I just never asked myself why that is, you understand?" She then smiled at him apologetically and limply shook her head. "I apologize if I am not making much sense," she added.
She shrugged regardless and began to speak some more. "When Ethne asked why I sought her out... I felt the answer I gave is the same for why I am still here. I had just never thought of it before," she said, leaning back into a more relaxed posture. "I... want to help. Tammy was right, there is too much hurt in the world. And it feels like we--the Inquisition, I mean, is the only thing attempting to do anything about it, and that is why I want to continue to be a part of it. I feel that we are... doing good, and people need that."
That didn't come as much of a shock to Romulus. Asala had saved his life alongside Estella's before she'd even met them, after they staggered out of the rift at the Temple of Sacred Ashes. Asala, a former Qunari saarebas and in the south, an apostate that was risking her very life by placing herself near the Templar Order. She didn't have to do any of that, but she did. Khari was the same way. She didn't have to risk her life fighting demons and servants of Corypheus when the matter could be left to others, but she did. Romulus was not ashamed to admit to himself that he would not have stayed, had he not been marked by the orb that Corypheus had wielded. He would have returned home to Minrathous and reported to his domina, and allowed other men and women to risk their lives in his place. But he was not Khari, and he was not Asala.
"That's good to hear, Asala," he said, trying to be reassuring. "That said, I have a request for you. If you ever feel that the Inquisition, or any person in it, is not doing good... don't stay silent about it. Not all of us can devote ourselves to Compassion, but for some of us it can be easy to lose our way. Don't ever assume that the Inquisition will always be good, even if you're doing all you can to keep it that way."
"I... will keep that in mind," she said, though she seemed rather uncomfortable with the idea. That wasn't surprising as well, Asala was the type who seemed to always try to see the best in people. Still, after some thought she appeared to accept it. "And, uh, thank you Romulus. For listening," she said with something of a embarrassed look, "I did not mean to give you a speech on you," she added with a chuckle.
"Khari tells me I'm not a bad listener," he answered, grinning a little. "If you need anything else, you can usually find me here. Just... knock, please. Even if the door's open." He gestured for the door with his head. "Now go on, get out of here. I'm sure you've got work to do, spirit healer."
"A lot of work, unfortunately. As it turns out, there is a whole process in becoming one," Asala said, a smile denoting the joke.