Lady of Perpetual Victory, your praises I sing!
Gladly do I accept the gift invaluable
Of your glory! Let me be the vessel
Which bears the Light of your promise
To the world expectant.
-Canticle of Exaltations 1:1
Gladly do I accept the gift invaluable
Of your glory! Let me be the vessel
Which bears the Light of your promise
To the world expectant.
-Canticle of Exaltations 1:1
The crisp autumn air came early in the season to Skyhold, turning everything in the garden varying shades of red and yellow. It was difficult to believe that the Inquisitions's second year would soon come to an end. Estella had no idea how the success of a group like this was measured, but she felt like they'd accomplished a lot. Getting to Skyhold, building numbers and outposts. Learning who led the Venatori. Surviving attempts at assassination, seeing through attempts at fraud. Ever so slowly expanding their influence in the world for the day when they'd need the strength to meet Corypheus on the field of battle.
Personally, so much in her life had changed that thinking about it almost made her head spin. But the biggest change seemed to be in the people. She'd made wonderful friends, training partners, allies and everything. And she was still trying to decide how she felt about Harellan and what he'd told her of her family. It managed, somehow, to feel like the biggest upheavals were still to come both for herself and for all of them collectively. It made the reliable, routine things in her life all that much more important.
“How's training with Ser Michaël going?" She and Khari, as ever, took their morning run around Skyhold before the sun had risen, though they were nearing the end this morning. Having just mounted the stairs to the battlements, they were making their way along one of the lengthier walls, stone unyielding under their feet. The exertion felt good, honestly.
Khari hopped up onto the crenelations in the wall without pause, keeping her pace steady and her feet solid on the stone. She didn't seem to have any trouble with the balance of it, and if heights or the risk of falling bothered her, she gave no sign of the fact. Her treads hit evenly and squarely in the center of each block, though she kept her eyes forward. “Not bad." She shrugged, which looked a little odd while she was running. “Doing everything in full plate helps, though I can't exactly practice my rolls and stuff in that much armor. I use Ves for that, though."
The grin that spread over her face might have been a little bit malicious, but considering Khari's temperament, it was most likely just for show.
Estella couldn't imagine that she still held any grudges about their early days interacting with one another, in any event. Khari just never seemed to hold onto a grudge for any longer than she had to, save perhaps the one she had against the whole world for treating her like she was delusional for wanting to be something unconventional. But Estella wasn't even sure she'd call that a grudge. Whatever it was, it certainly provided powerful motivation. To be better, stronger, at every moment than she was in the one before. It was one of the things that made Khari so extraordinary.
“You're terrible," she told her, shaking her head and following her up onto the crenelations. Estella had a few more reservations about doing so, and kept her eyes on her feet, but it was hard not to want to try, when Khari was giving it a go, too.
“And don't you forget it." They ran out of uninterrupted wall, and Khari hopped down, leading the descent via staircase to ground level, where the terrain underfoot became grass and ordinary dirt. The sky was slowly turning pink. “What about your training? You said that Harellan guy wanted to teach you or something, right? What's his deal? Thought you already had Rilien for that."
Estella sighed, moving up so that they were even again. She hadn't told anyone most of what Harellan told her, but Khari knew that much just because of how much they talked about that kind of thing. “I don't know," she murmured, breathing slowly and deeply. That fencepost meant they were hitting the last mile, and Khari would probably start sprinting in the last half of it. She needed to conserve energy if she intended to keep up. “It's different from Rilien. He wants to teach me magic. I'm just not sure he really understands how that's going to go." Maybe, maybe, maybe. How many times in her life had maybe turned into disappointment?
Khari hummed, falling silent for a bit while she thought it over, apparently. “I mean... does anyone ever know what they're getting into when they start something brand-new? I bet it wasn't completely smooth with Rilien at first either, right? I don't think that's the stuff that should really influence the decision." She shook her head. “You and Rom, honestly. I'm always asking you both the really obvious question, I feel like. Do you want to do it? Learn magic? If you could just decide whether it would happen or not?"
She almost smiled; perhaps Khari did have to ask them both that a lot. It must have seemed strange, to someone usually so certain of what she wanted. “That's not how it works, though." That had never been how it worked. Not for Estella. “If I could just... decide if I was good at magic or not, of course I'd want to be. But the problem is that it never goes that way. I don't... I don't want to make him waste his time."
Khari scoffed. “Oh please, Stel. You make it sound like spending time with you is this huge labor of ridiculous generosity. It's not. It's... really fun, actually. And I mean, sure it could go wrong. Anything worth doing could go wrong, and don't I know it. But if you want it and you don't have a go, that just means you'll never get what you want. So what've you got to lose, really?"
Estella supposed she had a fair point. The worst that could happen is that she'd fail again. And as terrible as it would feel, it wouldn't be anything she didn't know how to deal with. “I guess... I can try it, at least. Maybe see what he has to say about my magic that's so different from what I learned before." If there seemed to be something to it, then perhaps it would be worth the risk. If not, well... it was like Khari said. She didn't really have anything to lose.
“Has anyone ever told you you give very good advice?"
Khari laughed aloud at that, probably a smidgen too loud for the early hour. “Hell, no. I make this shit up as I go." Her expression sobered a bit, half of her wide smile falling away so the expression was a little softer. “But if it helps, I'll take it." The grin reappeared as they passed another fencepost. “Last half-mile. Race ya to the end!" She bounded forward into a sprint without waiting for a reply.
With a long-suffering sigh that was nowhere near genuine, Estella accelerated after her, pushing herself as fast as she could go, until it almost felt like flying over the ground. Khari was weighed down by some armor, and admittedly, swiftness was Estella's strength, so it didn't take her too long to catch her friend, nor to pass her on the way to the end of the route. But Khari was nothing if not tenacious, and when they crossed, she was only about a dozen feet behind. Panting, Stel bent double, putting her hands on her knees and trying to recover her breath.
The fact that she was so close to laughing made it harder.
Before they could so much as catch their breath, a figure in full armor and battle ready approached from across the grounds. Well, Ves wasn't fully geared up yet, but he put on the last pieces of his set as he walked, gauntlets and all. His winged tallhelm swung a bit from the side of his belt, bardiche axe across his back, which was kept warm under the embrace of his white lion's pelt and cloak. He didn't normally train this early in the morning; he wasn't due to spar with Stel and Khari until later in the afternoon, and he didn't do that with his deadly axe, either. In fact, it looked like he was getting ready to leave, judging by the small bags over his shoulder, probably filled with supplies or rations of some kind.
"Good morning, ladies." He smiled in greeting, but it was fairly strained, forced, as many of his had been of late. Understandable, given what he had been going through with his friends. "Thought I might find you here. Do you have a moment?" He observed both of them panting for a moment. "Please, catch your breath first." He smiled again, a little more genuinely at that.
Khari straightened first, patting Estella on the shoulder in an amiable sort of way before pulling in one more deep breath and sighing it out again in a rush. “Sure. Something wrong? You look kind of like you're in a hurry."
Estella rose as well, rolling out her shoulders and nodding slightly. His friends didn't seem to be with him, which would make sense if Zethlasan was still in the infirmary, but she couldn't see any reason for Ves himself to be going anywhere if that was so.
"Not in a hurry, particularly, but I will be leaving soon." He finished buckling on one of his braces, and started on the next. "Zeth's gone." That sat on the air for a moment before Ves seemed to realize the way it could be interpreted. "Oh. No, not—he left Skyhold. Early this morning, well before sun up. Shae and Astraia went with him. They're gone." He sounded none too happy about that, but it only barely came through, as though he was holding back any judgement on it for the moment. "He left a note with one of the scouts in the mountains on his way out, but the scout didn't bring the note back to Lia until about an hour ago, when his shift ended. Lia brought it to me."
“Wait... what?" Estella's eyes widened. That shouldn't have even been possible, let alone actually happened. And without... she furrowed her brows. “He seemed far too ill to be moving when I saw him the other day. And I thought—it seems very strange that he wouldn't tell anyone directly."
Khari set her hands on her hips, frowning. “Did the note explain anything, or no?"
"It did, but not what I wanted to know." He buckled the last strap on his other bracer, now fully geared. "Said he was heading first for the Hinterlands, wanted to visit a ruin there with something he'd learned from that book Cyrus gave him. They'll be making their way back to the Tirashan after that." It wasn't an ideal first stop, to be sure. The Hinterlands would take them east, back into Ferelden proper, and to return home they would need to go west, either back through the Frostbacks or north and then around to reach Orlais. With winter approaching, it seemed Zeth had his eyes set on something in particular.
"Honestly, they would've left by now if not for Zeth falling ill. It's getting colder, and it's not an easy journey back across Orlais. But it doesn't explain how he can make it at all. Asala was just trying to make him comfortable before... the end. He shouldn't have been able to get up, let alone walk through the mountains. And..." He sighed, rubbing at his neck. "I'd thought we were doing better. All I can think is that he did this to... get back at me or something. For leaving them without so much as a word years ago. Maybe I was wrong."
He shook his head. "But it doesn't matter. I'm going after them. Lia has their trail, and they're on foot. Won't take long to catch up. I wanted to ask a favor, though. Of both of you."
“You want us to come with?" It was hard to tell if Khari was guessing at the favor Ves meant to ask or just offering anyway. “'Cause I would if you wanted. Just so you know." She shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest and glancing at Estella.
She nodded slowly, expression still a bit drawn. Something didn't add up the right way here. How was Zethlasan suddenly well enough to walk? Why had he left without so much as a word? Perhaps Shae would have been fine with that, if he was in good enough shape somehow, but she imagined Astraia would have preferred to at least say a few farewells. “If that's what you're planning to ask, then of course. I'd be happy to help. But if you meant something else, just tell me what." Estella knew him well enough by this point to know that he wouldn't request anything unreasonable, and she wanted to help where she could.
"I'm glad we're eager, at least." He half-smiled. "I was hoping you might come with me. But not just to say goodbye. I was hoping both of you might help me convince Astraia to join the Inquisition. To leave the Dalish behind, at least for now." By the looks of it, it wasn't a request he made of them lightly, nor was the request itself something he looked pleased to be doing. "I don't intend on forcing her to do anything, but... she deserves a better life than she'll get with the Dalish. She got a glimpse of that here, but she's... I don't know. Still thinks she'd be letting her family down, and the clan she'd eventually lead. I don't think I could convince her myself. But she looks up to you. Both of you. I've known her long enough to see that."
Estella wasn't entirely sure what to make of that, honestly. But... she did know a thing or two about feeling like she had duties to her family, ones that might be doing more harm than good, in the long run. It was unwise to project, but she could see the analogy. “I'll try," she said eventually, matching his expression. She definitely didn't plan to attempt to force the matter either, of course, but if something she had to say might make a bit of difference, then it was worth a shot, at least.
Khari looked a bit more skeptical, surprisingly enough, and then thoughtful, but eventually she nodded. “I don't wanna take her away from what she wants, but I guess she could be wrong about what she wants. It's happened to people before." Sighing through her nose, she shrugged.
“Guess we should go gear up too, then?"
"I've never seen her happier than when she was here, learning and practicing freely, supported by everyone around her. I just want her to know that she deserves to be happy. If she still wants to go back... then I'll say my tearful goodbyes, I'm sure." He smiled sadly at that, but then cleared his throat. "Thank you, both of you. I know you're dealing with a lot right now." He looked at Estella specifically when he said that. "It means a lot that you would help me with this. And I think it'll mean a lot to Skygirl, too, that you came out to say hello. Or goodbye, as it may be."
He gestured with his head towards the gate. "I was just on my way to the stables. Lia's waiting at the gate to get us started. We'll leave as soon as you're ready. Should be able to catch them by nightfall, I think."
Personally, so much in her life had changed that thinking about it almost made her head spin. But the biggest change seemed to be in the people. She'd made wonderful friends, training partners, allies and everything. And she was still trying to decide how she felt about Harellan and what he'd told her of her family. It managed, somehow, to feel like the biggest upheavals were still to come both for herself and for all of them collectively. It made the reliable, routine things in her life all that much more important.
“How's training with Ser Michaël going?" She and Khari, as ever, took their morning run around Skyhold before the sun had risen, though they were nearing the end this morning. Having just mounted the stairs to the battlements, they were making their way along one of the lengthier walls, stone unyielding under their feet. The exertion felt good, honestly.
Khari hopped up onto the crenelations in the wall without pause, keeping her pace steady and her feet solid on the stone. She didn't seem to have any trouble with the balance of it, and if heights or the risk of falling bothered her, she gave no sign of the fact. Her treads hit evenly and squarely in the center of each block, though she kept her eyes forward. “Not bad." She shrugged, which looked a little odd while she was running. “Doing everything in full plate helps, though I can't exactly practice my rolls and stuff in that much armor. I use Ves for that, though."
The grin that spread over her face might have been a little bit malicious, but considering Khari's temperament, it was most likely just for show.
Estella couldn't imagine that she still held any grudges about their early days interacting with one another, in any event. Khari just never seemed to hold onto a grudge for any longer than she had to, save perhaps the one she had against the whole world for treating her like she was delusional for wanting to be something unconventional. But Estella wasn't even sure she'd call that a grudge. Whatever it was, it certainly provided powerful motivation. To be better, stronger, at every moment than she was in the one before. It was one of the things that made Khari so extraordinary.
“You're terrible," she told her, shaking her head and following her up onto the crenelations. Estella had a few more reservations about doing so, and kept her eyes on her feet, but it was hard not to want to try, when Khari was giving it a go, too.
“And don't you forget it." They ran out of uninterrupted wall, and Khari hopped down, leading the descent via staircase to ground level, where the terrain underfoot became grass and ordinary dirt. The sky was slowly turning pink. “What about your training? You said that Harellan guy wanted to teach you or something, right? What's his deal? Thought you already had Rilien for that."
Estella sighed, moving up so that they were even again. She hadn't told anyone most of what Harellan told her, but Khari knew that much just because of how much they talked about that kind of thing. “I don't know," she murmured, breathing slowly and deeply. That fencepost meant they were hitting the last mile, and Khari would probably start sprinting in the last half of it. She needed to conserve energy if she intended to keep up. “It's different from Rilien. He wants to teach me magic. I'm just not sure he really understands how that's going to go." Maybe, maybe, maybe. How many times in her life had maybe turned into disappointment?
Khari hummed, falling silent for a bit while she thought it over, apparently. “I mean... does anyone ever know what they're getting into when they start something brand-new? I bet it wasn't completely smooth with Rilien at first either, right? I don't think that's the stuff that should really influence the decision." She shook her head. “You and Rom, honestly. I'm always asking you both the really obvious question, I feel like. Do you want to do it? Learn magic? If you could just decide whether it would happen or not?"
She almost smiled; perhaps Khari did have to ask them both that a lot. It must have seemed strange, to someone usually so certain of what she wanted. “That's not how it works, though." That had never been how it worked. Not for Estella. “If I could just... decide if I was good at magic or not, of course I'd want to be. But the problem is that it never goes that way. I don't... I don't want to make him waste his time."
Khari scoffed. “Oh please, Stel. You make it sound like spending time with you is this huge labor of ridiculous generosity. It's not. It's... really fun, actually. And I mean, sure it could go wrong. Anything worth doing could go wrong, and don't I know it. But if you want it and you don't have a go, that just means you'll never get what you want. So what've you got to lose, really?"
Estella supposed she had a fair point. The worst that could happen is that she'd fail again. And as terrible as it would feel, it wouldn't be anything she didn't know how to deal with. “I guess... I can try it, at least. Maybe see what he has to say about my magic that's so different from what I learned before." If there seemed to be something to it, then perhaps it would be worth the risk. If not, well... it was like Khari said. She didn't really have anything to lose.
“Has anyone ever told you you give very good advice?"
Khari laughed aloud at that, probably a smidgen too loud for the early hour. “Hell, no. I make this shit up as I go." Her expression sobered a bit, half of her wide smile falling away so the expression was a little softer. “But if it helps, I'll take it." The grin reappeared as they passed another fencepost. “Last half-mile. Race ya to the end!" She bounded forward into a sprint without waiting for a reply.
With a long-suffering sigh that was nowhere near genuine, Estella accelerated after her, pushing herself as fast as she could go, until it almost felt like flying over the ground. Khari was weighed down by some armor, and admittedly, swiftness was Estella's strength, so it didn't take her too long to catch her friend, nor to pass her on the way to the end of the route. But Khari was nothing if not tenacious, and when they crossed, she was only about a dozen feet behind. Panting, Stel bent double, putting her hands on her knees and trying to recover her breath.
The fact that she was so close to laughing made it harder.
Before they could so much as catch their breath, a figure in full armor and battle ready approached from across the grounds. Well, Ves wasn't fully geared up yet, but he put on the last pieces of his set as he walked, gauntlets and all. His winged tallhelm swung a bit from the side of his belt, bardiche axe across his back, which was kept warm under the embrace of his white lion's pelt and cloak. He didn't normally train this early in the morning; he wasn't due to spar with Stel and Khari until later in the afternoon, and he didn't do that with his deadly axe, either. In fact, it looked like he was getting ready to leave, judging by the small bags over his shoulder, probably filled with supplies or rations of some kind.
"Good morning, ladies." He smiled in greeting, but it was fairly strained, forced, as many of his had been of late. Understandable, given what he had been going through with his friends. "Thought I might find you here. Do you have a moment?" He observed both of them panting for a moment. "Please, catch your breath first." He smiled again, a little more genuinely at that.
Khari straightened first, patting Estella on the shoulder in an amiable sort of way before pulling in one more deep breath and sighing it out again in a rush. “Sure. Something wrong? You look kind of like you're in a hurry."
Estella rose as well, rolling out her shoulders and nodding slightly. His friends didn't seem to be with him, which would make sense if Zethlasan was still in the infirmary, but she couldn't see any reason for Ves himself to be going anywhere if that was so.
"Not in a hurry, particularly, but I will be leaving soon." He finished buckling on one of his braces, and started on the next. "Zeth's gone." That sat on the air for a moment before Ves seemed to realize the way it could be interpreted. "Oh. No, not—he left Skyhold. Early this morning, well before sun up. Shae and Astraia went with him. They're gone." He sounded none too happy about that, but it only barely came through, as though he was holding back any judgement on it for the moment. "He left a note with one of the scouts in the mountains on his way out, but the scout didn't bring the note back to Lia until about an hour ago, when his shift ended. Lia brought it to me."
“Wait... what?" Estella's eyes widened. That shouldn't have even been possible, let alone actually happened. And without... she furrowed her brows. “He seemed far too ill to be moving when I saw him the other day. And I thought—it seems very strange that he wouldn't tell anyone directly."
Khari set her hands on her hips, frowning. “Did the note explain anything, or no?"
"It did, but not what I wanted to know." He buckled the last strap on his other bracer, now fully geared. "Said he was heading first for the Hinterlands, wanted to visit a ruin there with something he'd learned from that book Cyrus gave him. They'll be making their way back to the Tirashan after that." It wasn't an ideal first stop, to be sure. The Hinterlands would take them east, back into Ferelden proper, and to return home they would need to go west, either back through the Frostbacks or north and then around to reach Orlais. With winter approaching, it seemed Zeth had his eyes set on something in particular.
"Honestly, they would've left by now if not for Zeth falling ill. It's getting colder, and it's not an easy journey back across Orlais. But it doesn't explain how he can make it at all. Asala was just trying to make him comfortable before... the end. He shouldn't have been able to get up, let alone walk through the mountains. And..." He sighed, rubbing at his neck. "I'd thought we were doing better. All I can think is that he did this to... get back at me or something. For leaving them without so much as a word years ago. Maybe I was wrong."
He shook his head. "But it doesn't matter. I'm going after them. Lia has their trail, and they're on foot. Won't take long to catch up. I wanted to ask a favor, though. Of both of you."
“You want us to come with?" It was hard to tell if Khari was guessing at the favor Ves meant to ask or just offering anyway. “'Cause I would if you wanted. Just so you know." She shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest and glancing at Estella.
She nodded slowly, expression still a bit drawn. Something didn't add up the right way here. How was Zethlasan suddenly well enough to walk? Why had he left without so much as a word? Perhaps Shae would have been fine with that, if he was in good enough shape somehow, but she imagined Astraia would have preferred to at least say a few farewells. “If that's what you're planning to ask, then of course. I'd be happy to help. But if you meant something else, just tell me what." Estella knew him well enough by this point to know that he wouldn't request anything unreasonable, and she wanted to help where she could.
"I'm glad we're eager, at least." He half-smiled. "I was hoping you might come with me. But not just to say goodbye. I was hoping both of you might help me convince Astraia to join the Inquisition. To leave the Dalish behind, at least for now." By the looks of it, it wasn't a request he made of them lightly, nor was the request itself something he looked pleased to be doing. "I don't intend on forcing her to do anything, but... she deserves a better life than she'll get with the Dalish. She got a glimpse of that here, but she's... I don't know. Still thinks she'd be letting her family down, and the clan she'd eventually lead. I don't think I could convince her myself. But she looks up to you. Both of you. I've known her long enough to see that."
Estella wasn't entirely sure what to make of that, honestly. But... she did know a thing or two about feeling like she had duties to her family, ones that might be doing more harm than good, in the long run. It was unwise to project, but she could see the analogy. “I'll try," she said eventually, matching his expression. She definitely didn't plan to attempt to force the matter either, of course, but if something she had to say might make a bit of difference, then it was worth a shot, at least.
Khari looked a bit more skeptical, surprisingly enough, and then thoughtful, but eventually she nodded. “I don't wanna take her away from what she wants, but I guess she could be wrong about what she wants. It's happened to people before." Sighing through her nose, she shrugged.
“Guess we should go gear up too, then?"
"I've never seen her happier than when she was here, learning and practicing freely, supported by everyone around her. I just want her to know that she deserves to be happy. If she still wants to go back... then I'll say my tearful goodbyes, I'm sure." He smiled sadly at that, but then cleared his throat. "Thank you, both of you. I know you're dealing with a lot right now." He looked at Estella specifically when he said that. "It means a lot that you would help me with this. And I think it'll mean a lot to Skygirl, too, that you came out to say hello. Or goodbye, as it may be."
He gestured with his head towards the gate. "I was just on my way to the stables. Lia's waiting at the gate to get us started. We'll leave as soon as you're ready. Should be able to catch them by nightfall, I think."