The room Khari shared with Widget in the barracks admittedly wasn't much. Bunk beds, pushed up both of the side walls. Since the other pair had never been filled, they just had one each, and had more or less divided the room along the center line, though neither of them was remotely territorial about it. Widget's half had a small desk, usually covered with mechanical bits and pieces or charts that Khari didn't know how to make much sense of. Khari's just had various pieces of armor, stacked as nicely as she could get them, whatever weapons she was borrowing from the armory, and then clothes, folded and stuffed into a loaner trunk at the end of her bottom bunk. Her desk had a couple of books on it, at least.
The Inquisition was never getting back the one Stel had given her, but she was pretty good about returning anything else she took in a timely manner, at least.
Right now, her half also had a few souvenirs from the visit back to her clan she'd made near the end of last year. One item in particular might have been at home in a room belonging to any other Dalish elf, but definitely not Khari. She kept forgetting it was there, actually, and being reminded only when she staggered back into her room at the end of a long day of training, dog-tired and in need of the sleep she snatched between the late hours of the night and the hour before sunrise, when she got up to do it all again.
But Mick was doing something or other with his family today, and so Khari had an unusual amount of free time. When she walked past the bow yet again, she finally found herself in a position to do something about it.
Better yet... she might be able to kill two birds with one arrow. Metaphorically, at least. Khari was a shit shot, and she didn't really care to spend the time she'd need to change that. A bow was hardly useful to someone who spent her time in the middle of melee, and had to get in people's faces to fight. But that didn't change the fact that her mom made really damn good ones, nor the fact that Khari was just a little bit of a shit, and a little bit petty. So she'd stolen it, of course, in the wee hours before departing Dirthavaren with Rom.
Great. There was the other bird.
Shaking her head to herself, Khari unbuckled her vambraces, shucking her armor like a snake sloughing off old skin, stacking it with the rest and wiping herself down before donning a new shirt, a white one with billowy sleeves, and then shrugging a leather vest on over. It was still cold as, well, the mountains in winter, so she pulled on her cloak, too, then shrugged the strung bow over her shoulder. It felt weird, but thankfully it would only be temporary.
Whoever had designed Skyhold had been smart enough to know that the tavern went right near the barracks, so it didn't take too long to get there. Ducking in through the door, Khari was immediately smothered in the familiar bubble of warmth from the constantly-burning fires, and let out a soft breath. It didn't take her long to find who she was looking forâZee was in her usual spot, and apparently Stel was with. That worked out pretty well, she supposed.
âIt's a party and I wasn't invited. That's cruel, you guys." She grinned, obviously not even slightly offended, and waved slightly from where she was before traipsing over to where they sat, plopping herself down on the bench next to Stel, on one of those squashy pillows Zee seemed to have filled the place with. The bow knocked awkwardly against the wood, reminding her of its presence. Oh. Right.
Shrugging it off her shoulder, Khari lifted it and set it down on the table. âI got you a thing, Zee. Stole it, actually. From my folks. Figured you might like it even better if it was contraband." Her grin spread, and she retracted her hand, leaving the gleaming length of polished ironbark on the tabletop. It had been stained dark, left to soak in dark purple berry dye of all things. It had a really nice color because of it, almost black but still just barely a mulberry hue. Not without purposeâit would be harder to see that way than if it had been left the pale shade of natural ironbark. It was carved with the traditional symbols and designs of Andruil. There was no getting around that with her mom. She might be a craftsperson now, but she'd been a huntress first, and Khari knew she still was one, in her heart.
It appeared as if Zee was knee-deep into whatever boisterous conversation she was having Stel, hands gesturing wildly and lips pulled into a smile. There may have been a waggle of eyebrows, though Khari hadnât been close enough to hear the subject at hand. As soon as sheâd plopped down at their table, sheâd turned her head and swung her languid gaze in her direction, feigning an apologetic pout, âBut youâre always so busy with⊠all that sweating and running and swinging heavy things.â She knuckled at her nose, âBesides, you know the party never starts without you.â
Sheâd chosen to wear one of her loose brown vests and a billowy, laced shirt underneath, sleeves rolled up to her elbows. Whatever furred cloak sheâd been wearing was draped across the top of the bench she was lounging in. Those who were in the Heraldâs Rest appeared to be simply eating or huddled by the fire, holding their hands out. Some of her crew lingered in the background and it appeared as if Brialle had taken up a peculiar-sounding instrument in hand, strumming soft notes and humming along with it. Her practices had become more frequent as of late, possibly due to the endless inspiration the Inquisition provided.
There was a moment of startled silence when Khari settled the bow across the table. She uncrossed her leg and abruptly stood up, hands planted across the surface of the table. It nearly upset the glasses she and Stel had there, though they maintained their balance. âBloody hell...â it came out as a whisper, disbelief coloring her features. She reached over and traced a fingertip down the limb, slipping her it off the bowâs neck. Only then did she snatch it up in her hands, moving away from the table in order to inspect it properly. She turned it this way and that, towards the light of the lantern. Plucked at the bowstring, and briefly brought herself into position, as if she had an enemy in her sights.
The excitement had only grown since first sighting the bow. A shit-eating grin curled across her mouth as she spun back towards Khari, bow tucked close to her chest. Whatever tests sheâd been doing while they sat there appeared to have been successful. The result was clear. Sheâd rejected so many others before. But this one was different. âYou stole it for me?â Her eyes crinkled at the edges, and she laughed. Loudly. âItâs wonderful. The weight. The feel. ItâsâI havenât seen such craftsmanship in ages, I mean it. Thank you. Thank you.â
Like a child whoâd been given candy on their nameday, Zeeâs jubilation was as palpable as the warmth of the fireplace.
"From your family?" Stel wore an obvious smile, watching Zee handle her new bow with the obvious joy she had. Perhaps it was infectious. "So it's Dalish, then? Looks like you got the best, Zee." She raised her glass to her lips and took a sip, clearly quite amused, and inclined to prod things along.
Khari huffed a laugh, leaning her elbows on the table and picking up what had previously been Zee's glass. Wine, by the look of it. That'd do, and it wasn't like her pirate friend would care if she stole a bit. Tipping it back, she took a hearty swallow, swiping the pad of her thumb along her lower lip to catch the slight excess there. âYou got it. My mom's the head crafter for the clan. That's her workâshe invented that dye from scratch. Pretty, isn't it?"
Just because she'd once carried around the ugliest banged-up sword in the Inquisition didn't mean she failed to appreciate that kind of thing. It was a good bow. She knew that without knowing the first thing about them, because her mom wasn't the kind of person who ever cut a corner or took a shortcut or left anything to chance or the hands of lesser craftsmen. Khari'd been on the foul end of that relentless perfectionism before. It felt kinda nice to have something to show for it. That bow might save Zee's life someday. But she'd happily settle for the grin on her face if it never needed to. âTest it out later and tell me how it shoots. I'll pass it along next time I write."
âIronbark?â It wasnât a question but rather an awed mumble, as Zee held up the bow to her face, and inspected it further. From the looks of it, sheâd at least heard of it though it wasnât likely sheâd ever seen it up close before, or held something crafted from it in her hands. Her eyes were dancing as she tapped her finger along the traditional engravings swirled across the sides, twisting it around to reveal a hare and a hawk on its underbelly. While she may not have understood who or what Andruil stood for, she certainly reveled in its beauty.
âItâs far more than that,â she cooed against the grain of the wood, pressing it to her cheek, âYour motherâs a genius, Iâll have you know. Iâve never seen such a bow before. And Iâve seen many.â The way she said it sounded lewd. Most of what she said did. Just as a swordsman preferred the feel of certain blades, so did archers. She nodded her head and finally plopped back down on the bench. She did, however, keep the bow set on the table, taking up most of her space.
âOh I will,â if it hadnât been for the company at hand, she may have run off to do just that, âand you better pass along my compliments. It may just cancel out the whole stolen-gift bit. Though, if your parents are anything like mine, maybe not.â She snorted. From how excited sheâd been, even if Khariâs mother were to demand the bow back⊠she might have needed to pry the thing from her cold, dead fingers.
âYeah, I won't lie.... probably not. But they'll just have to deal with that." In a way, it was a return, a variation on a theme. A defiance on her part, but one turned to a purpose, not just useless raging against things she felt were keeping her down. She probably could have asked, and been given what she asked for. But she couldn't quite make herself do it yet, so she stole. It was a half-step forward, and maybe she'd get lucky and her folks would understand that.
One of the tavern's waitresses approached, bearing an empty cup for Khari, who accepted it with thanks and a grin, immediately grabbing the neck of the half-empty wine bottle sitting on the table near Stel's elbow. Several inches filled the tumbler before Khari was satisfied with how it looked and let the burgundy stream taper off. Several swallows later, she set it down against the wood with a thud and a near-slosh, sighing a bit too heavily for the situation.
Eying the other two for a moment, Khari leaned forward against the table, linking her legs together at the ankle and smiling. Seeing them just made her feel happier. Weird, how that worked. She figured that was what friendship must be about. The real kind, where people were honest with her and she was honest with them. It was... good. Better than good. âGlad you like it, then. Sorry I didn't steal you anything, Stel. I figure Ril's got you nice and covered, as far as equipment goes, and we honestly don't make much else. Unless you want an aravel. Do you want an aravel?" It was mostly a joke, but she feigned seriousness as well as she could. Surely not well enough to fool either of them, with how perceptive they were.
Estella laughed softly, shaking her head with fondness and rolling her eyes as she took another sip of her drink. She was certainly much more careful about it than Khari had been. More moderate. That was normal, though. "I think you'd have had quite a time trying to steal an aravel out from under their noses," she pointed out. "Also not sure what I'd do with one, exactly. They're for sleeping, right? And transport?"
A short hum accompanied Khari's nod. She wasn't being near as careful as Stel about how much of the wine she was having, mostly because she was trying to work around to a question she still wasn't completely sure how to ask. Wine was supposed to be pretty good for stuff like that; hopefully by the time she had a decent buzz going, it'd just... come to her. Like a flash of inspiration, or... something.
âYeah. Uh... land-ships, I guess. Though my clan's actually work in the water still, unlike some people's. All different sizes, too. They're pretty convenient, if you live on the move." She figured if she was talking this much about aravels to people who would never need or possibly even see one, she really needed to get on with her question. Or it'd just kind of sit there. Awkwardly. At the back of her mind. Ugh.
Pursing her lips, she rolled some of the wine around in her mouth for a bit, letting the dull sting engulf her tongue before she swallowed. âUh. Can I ask you guys a, uh... personal question?" Her eyes flickered from one to the other. It wasn't like she could really ask anyone else about this.
Zahra had been watching her intently. Occasionally her gaze drifted to her cup and then back to her face as if she were trying to sort something out in her head. Or read her face. Whichever it was, she appeared to be waiting for something to happen, or Khari to say something. As soon as the question was posed, she pursed her lips around a smile, and tilted her head to the side, âOf course. I was waiting for something the way youâve been slogging that back. Whatâs on your mind?â
Come to think of it, she'd probably been pretty obvious about that. Khari glanced down at her glass, now empty. Given the speed she'd been drinking at, she was beginning to feel slightly fuzzy around the edges. It'd have to do. She took a look around the tavern, confirming that no one else was really in earshot, then pitched her voice lower anyway.
âUh, so..." She sucked in a breath, held it between her teeth, then let it out in a gust. âI think I have a problem. And I really, really want to make it go away. Because it could fuck everything up, and I don't want to fuck this up." Sighing, she slid her arms forward across the table until she was half-laying on it, as much as she could be while keeping her seat. For a moment, she left her forehead pressed to the varnished wood, but then she turned her face to the side, using one eye to look at them over her outstretched arm. When she spoke next, it was barely more than mumbling.
âI'm... shit. I'm attracted to Rom."
That was the word people used, right? Attracted? For when you noticed the way another person looked even if you hadn't before and thought it was... nice. Better than nice. And then it got kind of awkward as hell because she felt the really uncomfortable churning in her guts and started paying attention to things like how he smelled, which was ridiculous and not what she should be focusing on. It was distracting, and she was pretty bad at hiding things, which meant he was probably going to catch on pretty soon. She didn't dare contemplate the possibility that he already had. She'd been hiding it as well as she'd ever hidden anything. She hoped.
At least until she'd blabbed it to these two, anyway.
A thick silence followed her words.
It collapsed in on itself as soon as Zeeâs hand smacked down on the table, and she erupted in a roar of laughter. Tossing her head and curls, rocking back in the bench with her hands clutching her belly. Tears were forming at the corners of her eyes as she wiped at them with her palms and knuckles, obviously attempting to stifle her laughter to form intelligible words. Her first couple of attempts only ended in chortling snorts, and waving hands, with hoarse sorry, sorry.
A few intakes of breath later, and she managed gotten a hold of herself. Enough to wipe at her eyes with the sleeves of her shirt and regain her composure, red-faced and still sporting a wobbly smile. It was difficult where sheâd begun to find it funny or why the hell sheâd found it so hilarious in the first place, but it appeared as if she were preparing to say something. Possibly useful. Hard to tell with someone like her. The knowing look in her eyes, however, was impossible to mistake for anything else, as if sheâd known all along.
âIâm sorry. That wasnât funny. I shouldnât be laughing. That was just a little more adorable than I was expecting.â She huffed out another breath and eyed her over the table. Not quite seriously, but something a little closer to that and a little further away from the tease Khari may have expected from her. She held up one finger, âFirst of all. Why do you think that would ruin anything?â Another finger joined it as she tilted her head to the side, âSecondly. Thereâs nothing wrong with that. Being attracted to him. Doing something about it, if thatâs what you want.â
Her expression flattened itself out and she waggled another finger up. Three. âWhat if itâs mutual? What would you do, then? Youâll never know if you donât say anything and that, I promise you, is worse.â
Stel didn't look entirely unamused, either, but she was a lot more graceful about it, constraining things to a subtle little smile that was basically her equivalent of laughter anyway. "I think I understand what you're worried about," she said. "It doesn't take a genius to see how close the two of you are. I'm sure this just feels like a layer of complication you don't need. But... I don't think it'll automatically ruin anything. Can I ask when you came to this realization?"
Khari groaned softly, turning her face back down into the wood for a while. It wasn't easy to mortify or embarrass her, she knew that for a fact. She didn't have a proper amount of shame, as she'd been told many times before. But shit, this was embarrassing. Grimacing, she lifted her head, folding her arms under it and resting sideways again.
âI don't know. It was kinda..." She wasn't certain gradual was the right word, because it had honestly hit her like a wall all at once when she actually did the realizing part. Probably the actual getting there part had been more gradual. âI mean, it's not my fault, right? He pretty much treats shirts as optional at all times. You know that." She scrunched her nose at Zee in particular. âI hardly noticed at first, but I mean, come on." She smacked a palm on the table, rattling a few of the objects resting on it, then pushed herself abruptly up into a sitting position.
That, as it turned out, was not the smartest idea. For a moment, her vision blurred, head swimming. She blinked a few times, taking slow breaths until it passed. âI'm dense, not blind." Funny how the difference had never really come back to bite her before now. She'd lived around men her entire life. Just... not men like Rom.
âAnd anyway, it could, you know. Ruin everything. It's like... I've never had friends like this before. Like him. Like you guys, even. If everything gets weird because I do what I usually do and just... blurt out what I really thinkâ" She shook her head. âI can't ruin it. I can't. It's too important." She didn't even want to take the chance. âEven if I could, and even if he, uh, reciprocatedâ" She almost couldn't let herself consider it.
âWhat then? He's the Lord Inquisitor, and I'm... I don't know. Not the kind of person that..." Her thoughts were a mess. Maybe that was how it'd be, too. A huge mess. She certainly couldn't imagine how it'd work. âI'm a crazy elf who wants to be a knight."
âOh?â Zeeâs expression had toned itself down considerably. She, at least, appeared to be listening intently. Soaking up the information. Whirling it in her brain. Though from the looks of it⊠not to make another joke, though it appeared as if sheâd enjoyed Khariâs little display of embarrassment. âI think you mean, youâre an amazing person just like he is. The strongest person I know, personally. And I think heâs never met someone quite like you. In a good way.â
She glanced sidelong at Stel and smiled. It was softer this time, as if she were taking cues. âThereâs a saying about seeing something for the first time, and not being able to unsee it ever again. Thatâs a little like this. It could. When has that made you ever give up before?â A fingertip traced its way across the bow once more, âI donât think youâre giving yourself enough credit.â
Plates rattled in the foreground as some of the barmaids picked them up. Almost peculiar with such a serious conversation taking place. She exhaled softly. âThis is too important. Thatâs what you said.â She inclined her head towards Stel and arched an eyebrow, âMy suggestion isnât going to be easy at all. Probably harder than any training youâve ever done.â A humming noise sounded. Reflective in nature, âSo, what do you think she should do, Stel?â
Stel huffed softly, lifting her shoulders. "Well... I'm hardly impartial here. But, well. I think you should take some time to think about this a little more. See if maybe you can't see it making sense after all." She tipped her head a little to the side. "One thing I would say, though... don't you think you might be selling him a little short? Even if the worst happened, you brought this up and it was weird for a while... you don't really think he'd abandon your friendship over it, do you? And surely you wouldn't either." Her mouth tugged upwards on the left, leaving her with a soft half-smile.
"So... it might be awkward for a while, but you'd recover. Probably be able to laugh about it, in time. That's hardly ruining anything, is it?" She turned to Zee. "But what were you going to suggest?"
Zeeâs mouth formed a line, and sidled into another pout. âYou took the words out of my mouth.â A toothy grin stretched across her face as she leaned forward and reached across the table, âMinus the waiting bit. Iâm not one for patiently waiting⊠but I suppose that canât hurt.â It was clear that Stel and Zee both believed in her. In him as well.
She patted Khari on the arm and then dramatically plopped backwards, dropping the bow in her lap. âI agree with Stel. If your positions were reverse, I know that youâd fight tooth and nail to make sure that didnât happen. He would too.â Heâd never let her down before, so why would he start now?
âHuh." She hadn't really thought about it in those terms before. At the same time... she knew Rom wasn't like most people. It wasn't that he was weak or anything, he just... had had a very different life from everyone else she knew. She couldn't predict how things would go because she just had no way of knowing where and when that was going to make a difference. Maybe it would in a case like this, and maybe it wouldn't. For all they'd shared, he'd spoken so little of his history. Of who he'd used to be, and which parts of it were harder to let go of, or simple to relinquish. So much of their friendship had been about now. And about the future. The past had butted in where it showed up at all. They hadn't exactly welcomed it into the dynamic, so to speak.
Maybe that was an oversight. Khari liked to pretend she didn't care about it at all. And it didn't matter, to her, not as much as the rest. But she knew it mattered to him. She grimaced.
âI... yeah. I'm gonna think about it, and then... I dunno. Try something. Maybe. I guess." It was hardly the wholehearted commitment she liked to attack life with, but Khari was pretty good at identifying when she didn't get stuff, and she might have just found something she needed to try harder to understand first.
But, well. First things first. âThanks, guys. For talking it out with me. I mean it."
This friendship stuff had way more benefits than she'd ever thought it would.
The Inquisition was never getting back the one Stel had given her, but she was pretty good about returning anything else she took in a timely manner, at least.
Right now, her half also had a few souvenirs from the visit back to her clan she'd made near the end of last year. One item in particular might have been at home in a room belonging to any other Dalish elf, but definitely not Khari. She kept forgetting it was there, actually, and being reminded only when she staggered back into her room at the end of a long day of training, dog-tired and in need of the sleep she snatched between the late hours of the night and the hour before sunrise, when she got up to do it all again.
But Mick was doing something or other with his family today, and so Khari had an unusual amount of free time. When she walked past the bow yet again, she finally found herself in a position to do something about it.
Better yet... she might be able to kill two birds with one arrow. Metaphorically, at least. Khari was a shit shot, and she didn't really care to spend the time she'd need to change that. A bow was hardly useful to someone who spent her time in the middle of melee, and had to get in people's faces to fight. But that didn't change the fact that her mom made really damn good ones, nor the fact that Khari was just a little bit of a shit, and a little bit petty. So she'd stolen it, of course, in the wee hours before departing Dirthavaren with Rom.
Great. There was the other bird.
Shaking her head to herself, Khari unbuckled her vambraces, shucking her armor like a snake sloughing off old skin, stacking it with the rest and wiping herself down before donning a new shirt, a white one with billowy sleeves, and then shrugging a leather vest on over. It was still cold as, well, the mountains in winter, so she pulled on her cloak, too, then shrugged the strung bow over her shoulder. It felt weird, but thankfully it would only be temporary.
Whoever had designed Skyhold had been smart enough to know that the tavern went right near the barracks, so it didn't take too long to get there. Ducking in through the door, Khari was immediately smothered in the familiar bubble of warmth from the constantly-burning fires, and let out a soft breath. It didn't take her long to find who she was looking forâZee was in her usual spot, and apparently Stel was with. That worked out pretty well, she supposed.
âIt's a party and I wasn't invited. That's cruel, you guys." She grinned, obviously not even slightly offended, and waved slightly from where she was before traipsing over to where they sat, plopping herself down on the bench next to Stel, on one of those squashy pillows Zee seemed to have filled the place with. The bow knocked awkwardly against the wood, reminding her of its presence. Oh. Right.
Shrugging it off her shoulder, Khari lifted it and set it down on the table. âI got you a thing, Zee. Stole it, actually. From my folks. Figured you might like it even better if it was contraband." Her grin spread, and she retracted her hand, leaving the gleaming length of polished ironbark on the tabletop. It had been stained dark, left to soak in dark purple berry dye of all things. It had a really nice color because of it, almost black but still just barely a mulberry hue. Not without purposeâit would be harder to see that way than if it had been left the pale shade of natural ironbark. It was carved with the traditional symbols and designs of Andruil. There was no getting around that with her mom. She might be a craftsperson now, but she'd been a huntress first, and Khari knew she still was one, in her heart.
It appeared as if Zee was knee-deep into whatever boisterous conversation she was having Stel, hands gesturing wildly and lips pulled into a smile. There may have been a waggle of eyebrows, though Khari hadnât been close enough to hear the subject at hand. As soon as sheâd plopped down at their table, sheâd turned her head and swung her languid gaze in her direction, feigning an apologetic pout, âBut youâre always so busy with⊠all that sweating and running and swinging heavy things.â She knuckled at her nose, âBesides, you know the party never starts without you.â
Sheâd chosen to wear one of her loose brown vests and a billowy, laced shirt underneath, sleeves rolled up to her elbows. Whatever furred cloak sheâd been wearing was draped across the top of the bench she was lounging in. Those who were in the Heraldâs Rest appeared to be simply eating or huddled by the fire, holding their hands out. Some of her crew lingered in the background and it appeared as if Brialle had taken up a peculiar-sounding instrument in hand, strumming soft notes and humming along with it. Her practices had become more frequent as of late, possibly due to the endless inspiration the Inquisition provided.
There was a moment of startled silence when Khari settled the bow across the table. She uncrossed her leg and abruptly stood up, hands planted across the surface of the table. It nearly upset the glasses she and Stel had there, though they maintained their balance. âBloody hell...â it came out as a whisper, disbelief coloring her features. She reached over and traced a fingertip down the limb, slipping her it off the bowâs neck. Only then did she snatch it up in her hands, moving away from the table in order to inspect it properly. She turned it this way and that, towards the light of the lantern. Plucked at the bowstring, and briefly brought herself into position, as if she had an enemy in her sights.
The excitement had only grown since first sighting the bow. A shit-eating grin curled across her mouth as she spun back towards Khari, bow tucked close to her chest. Whatever tests sheâd been doing while they sat there appeared to have been successful. The result was clear. Sheâd rejected so many others before. But this one was different. âYou stole it for me?â Her eyes crinkled at the edges, and she laughed. Loudly. âItâs wonderful. The weight. The feel. ItâsâI havenât seen such craftsmanship in ages, I mean it. Thank you. Thank you.â
Like a child whoâd been given candy on their nameday, Zeeâs jubilation was as palpable as the warmth of the fireplace.
"From your family?" Stel wore an obvious smile, watching Zee handle her new bow with the obvious joy she had. Perhaps it was infectious. "So it's Dalish, then? Looks like you got the best, Zee." She raised her glass to her lips and took a sip, clearly quite amused, and inclined to prod things along.
Khari huffed a laugh, leaning her elbows on the table and picking up what had previously been Zee's glass. Wine, by the look of it. That'd do, and it wasn't like her pirate friend would care if she stole a bit. Tipping it back, she took a hearty swallow, swiping the pad of her thumb along her lower lip to catch the slight excess there. âYou got it. My mom's the head crafter for the clan. That's her workâshe invented that dye from scratch. Pretty, isn't it?"
Just because she'd once carried around the ugliest banged-up sword in the Inquisition didn't mean she failed to appreciate that kind of thing. It was a good bow. She knew that without knowing the first thing about them, because her mom wasn't the kind of person who ever cut a corner or took a shortcut or left anything to chance or the hands of lesser craftsmen. Khari'd been on the foul end of that relentless perfectionism before. It felt kinda nice to have something to show for it. That bow might save Zee's life someday. But she'd happily settle for the grin on her face if it never needed to. âTest it out later and tell me how it shoots. I'll pass it along next time I write."
âIronbark?â It wasnât a question but rather an awed mumble, as Zee held up the bow to her face, and inspected it further. From the looks of it, sheâd at least heard of it though it wasnât likely sheâd ever seen it up close before, or held something crafted from it in her hands. Her eyes were dancing as she tapped her finger along the traditional engravings swirled across the sides, twisting it around to reveal a hare and a hawk on its underbelly. While she may not have understood who or what Andruil stood for, she certainly reveled in its beauty.
âItâs far more than that,â she cooed against the grain of the wood, pressing it to her cheek, âYour motherâs a genius, Iâll have you know. Iâve never seen such a bow before. And Iâve seen many.â The way she said it sounded lewd. Most of what she said did. Just as a swordsman preferred the feel of certain blades, so did archers. She nodded her head and finally plopped back down on the bench. She did, however, keep the bow set on the table, taking up most of her space.
âOh I will,â if it hadnât been for the company at hand, she may have run off to do just that, âand you better pass along my compliments. It may just cancel out the whole stolen-gift bit. Though, if your parents are anything like mine, maybe not.â She snorted. From how excited sheâd been, even if Khariâs mother were to demand the bow back⊠she might have needed to pry the thing from her cold, dead fingers.
âYeah, I won't lie.... probably not. But they'll just have to deal with that." In a way, it was a return, a variation on a theme. A defiance on her part, but one turned to a purpose, not just useless raging against things she felt were keeping her down. She probably could have asked, and been given what she asked for. But she couldn't quite make herself do it yet, so she stole. It was a half-step forward, and maybe she'd get lucky and her folks would understand that.
One of the tavern's waitresses approached, bearing an empty cup for Khari, who accepted it with thanks and a grin, immediately grabbing the neck of the half-empty wine bottle sitting on the table near Stel's elbow. Several inches filled the tumbler before Khari was satisfied with how it looked and let the burgundy stream taper off. Several swallows later, she set it down against the wood with a thud and a near-slosh, sighing a bit too heavily for the situation.
Eying the other two for a moment, Khari leaned forward against the table, linking her legs together at the ankle and smiling. Seeing them just made her feel happier. Weird, how that worked. She figured that was what friendship must be about. The real kind, where people were honest with her and she was honest with them. It was... good. Better than good. âGlad you like it, then. Sorry I didn't steal you anything, Stel. I figure Ril's got you nice and covered, as far as equipment goes, and we honestly don't make much else. Unless you want an aravel. Do you want an aravel?" It was mostly a joke, but she feigned seriousness as well as she could. Surely not well enough to fool either of them, with how perceptive they were.
Estella laughed softly, shaking her head with fondness and rolling her eyes as she took another sip of her drink. She was certainly much more careful about it than Khari had been. More moderate. That was normal, though. "I think you'd have had quite a time trying to steal an aravel out from under their noses," she pointed out. "Also not sure what I'd do with one, exactly. They're for sleeping, right? And transport?"
A short hum accompanied Khari's nod. She wasn't being near as careful as Stel about how much of the wine she was having, mostly because she was trying to work around to a question she still wasn't completely sure how to ask. Wine was supposed to be pretty good for stuff like that; hopefully by the time she had a decent buzz going, it'd just... come to her. Like a flash of inspiration, or... something.
âYeah. Uh... land-ships, I guess. Though my clan's actually work in the water still, unlike some people's. All different sizes, too. They're pretty convenient, if you live on the move." She figured if she was talking this much about aravels to people who would never need or possibly even see one, she really needed to get on with her question. Or it'd just kind of sit there. Awkwardly. At the back of her mind. Ugh.
Pursing her lips, she rolled some of the wine around in her mouth for a bit, letting the dull sting engulf her tongue before she swallowed. âUh. Can I ask you guys a, uh... personal question?" Her eyes flickered from one to the other. It wasn't like she could really ask anyone else about this.
Zahra had been watching her intently. Occasionally her gaze drifted to her cup and then back to her face as if she were trying to sort something out in her head. Or read her face. Whichever it was, she appeared to be waiting for something to happen, or Khari to say something. As soon as the question was posed, she pursed her lips around a smile, and tilted her head to the side, âOf course. I was waiting for something the way youâve been slogging that back. Whatâs on your mind?â
Come to think of it, she'd probably been pretty obvious about that. Khari glanced down at her glass, now empty. Given the speed she'd been drinking at, she was beginning to feel slightly fuzzy around the edges. It'd have to do. She took a look around the tavern, confirming that no one else was really in earshot, then pitched her voice lower anyway.
âUh, so..." She sucked in a breath, held it between her teeth, then let it out in a gust. âI think I have a problem. And I really, really want to make it go away. Because it could fuck everything up, and I don't want to fuck this up." Sighing, she slid her arms forward across the table until she was half-laying on it, as much as she could be while keeping her seat. For a moment, she left her forehead pressed to the varnished wood, but then she turned her face to the side, using one eye to look at them over her outstretched arm. When she spoke next, it was barely more than mumbling.
âI'm... shit. I'm attracted to Rom."
That was the word people used, right? Attracted? For when you noticed the way another person looked even if you hadn't before and thought it was... nice. Better than nice. And then it got kind of awkward as hell because she felt the really uncomfortable churning in her guts and started paying attention to things like how he smelled, which was ridiculous and not what she should be focusing on. It was distracting, and she was pretty bad at hiding things, which meant he was probably going to catch on pretty soon. She didn't dare contemplate the possibility that he already had. She'd been hiding it as well as she'd ever hidden anything. She hoped.
At least until she'd blabbed it to these two, anyway.
A thick silence followed her words.
It collapsed in on itself as soon as Zeeâs hand smacked down on the table, and she erupted in a roar of laughter. Tossing her head and curls, rocking back in the bench with her hands clutching her belly. Tears were forming at the corners of her eyes as she wiped at them with her palms and knuckles, obviously attempting to stifle her laughter to form intelligible words. Her first couple of attempts only ended in chortling snorts, and waving hands, with hoarse sorry, sorry.
A few intakes of breath later, and she managed gotten a hold of herself. Enough to wipe at her eyes with the sleeves of her shirt and regain her composure, red-faced and still sporting a wobbly smile. It was difficult where sheâd begun to find it funny or why the hell sheâd found it so hilarious in the first place, but it appeared as if she were preparing to say something. Possibly useful. Hard to tell with someone like her. The knowing look in her eyes, however, was impossible to mistake for anything else, as if sheâd known all along.
âIâm sorry. That wasnât funny. I shouldnât be laughing. That was just a little more adorable than I was expecting.â She huffed out another breath and eyed her over the table. Not quite seriously, but something a little closer to that and a little further away from the tease Khari may have expected from her. She held up one finger, âFirst of all. Why do you think that would ruin anything?â Another finger joined it as she tilted her head to the side, âSecondly. Thereâs nothing wrong with that. Being attracted to him. Doing something about it, if thatâs what you want.â
Her expression flattened itself out and she waggled another finger up. Three. âWhat if itâs mutual? What would you do, then? Youâll never know if you donât say anything and that, I promise you, is worse.â
Stel didn't look entirely unamused, either, but she was a lot more graceful about it, constraining things to a subtle little smile that was basically her equivalent of laughter anyway. "I think I understand what you're worried about," she said. "It doesn't take a genius to see how close the two of you are. I'm sure this just feels like a layer of complication you don't need. But... I don't think it'll automatically ruin anything. Can I ask when you came to this realization?"
Khari groaned softly, turning her face back down into the wood for a while. It wasn't easy to mortify or embarrass her, she knew that for a fact. She didn't have a proper amount of shame, as she'd been told many times before. But shit, this was embarrassing. Grimacing, she lifted her head, folding her arms under it and resting sideways again.
âI don't know. It was kinda..." She wasn't certain gradual was the right word, because it had honestly hit her like a wall all at once when she actually did the realizing part. Probably the actual getting there part had been more gradual. âI mean, it's not my fault, right? He pretty much treats shirts as optional at all times. You know that." She scrunched her nose at Zee in particular. âI hardly noticed at first, but I mean, come on." She smacked a palm on the table, rattling a few of the objects resting on it, then pushed herself abruptly up into a sitting position.
That, as it turned out, was not the smartest idea. For a moment, her vision blurred, head swimming. She blinked a few times, taking slow breaths until it passed. âI'm dense, not blind." Funny how the difference had never really come back to bite her before now. She'd lived around men her entire life. Just... not men like Rom.
âAnd anyway, it could, you know. Ruin everything. It's like... I've never had friends like this before. Like him. Like you guys, even. If everything gets weird because I do what I usually do and just... blurt out what I really thinkâ" She shook her head. âI can't ruin it. I can't. It's too important." She didn't even want to take the chance. âEven if I could, and even if he, uh, reciprocatedâ" She almost couldn't let herself consider it.
âWhat then? He's the Lord Inquisitor, and I'm... I don't know. Not the kind of person that..." Her thoughts were a mess. Maybe that was how it'd be, too. A huge mess. She certainly couldn't imagine how it'd work. âI'm a crazy elf who wants to be a knight."
âOh?â Zeeâs expression had toned itself down considerably. She, at least, appeared to be listening intently. Soaking up the information. Whirling it in her brain. Though from the looks of it⊠not to make another joke, though it appeared as if sheâd enjoyed Khariâs little display of embarrassment. âI think you mean, youâre an amazing person just like he is. The strongest person I know, personally. And I think heâs never met someone quite like you. In a good way.â
She glanced sidelong at Stel and smiled. It was softer this time, as if she were taking cues. âThereâs a saying about seeing something for the first time, and not being able to unsee it ever again. Thatâs a little like this. It could. When has that made you ever give up before?â A fingertip traced its way across the bow once more, âI donât think youâre giving yourself enough credit.â
Plates rattled in the foreground as some of the barmaids picked them up. Almost peculiar with such a serious conversation taking place. She exhaled softly. âThis is too important. Thatâs what you said.â She inclined her head towards Stel and arched an eyebrow, âMy suggestion isnât going to be easy at all. Probably harder than any training youâve ever done.â A humming noise sounded. Reflective in nature, âSo, what do you think she should do, Stel?â
Stel huffed softly, lifting her shoulders. "Well... I'm hardly impartial here. But, well. I think you should take some time to think about this a little more. See if maybe you can't see it making sense after all." She tipped her head a little to the side. "One thing I would say, though... don't you think you might be selling him a little short? Even if the worst happened, you brought this up and it was weird for a while... you don't really think he'd abandon your friendship over it, do you? And surely you wouldn't either." Her mouth tugged upwards on the left, leaving her with a soft half-smile.
"So... it might be awkward for a while, but you'd recover. Probably be able to laugh about it, in time. That's hardly ruining anything, is it?" She turned to Zee. "But what were you going to suggest?"
Zeeâs mouth formed a line, and sidled into another pout. âYou took the words out of my mouth.â A toothy grin stretched across her face as she leaned forward and reached across the table, âMinus the waiting bit. Iâm not one for patiently waiting⊠but I suppose that canât hurt.â It was clear that Stel and Zee both believed in her. In him as well.
She patted Khari on the arm and then dramatically plopped backwards, dropping the bow in her lap. âI agree with Stel. If your positions were reverse, I know that youâd fight tooth and nail to make sure that didnât happen. He would too.â Heâd never let her down before, so why would he start now?
âHuh." She hadn't really thought about it in those terms before. At the same time... she knew Rom wasn't like most people. It wasn't that he was weak or anything, he just... had had a very different life from everyone else she knew. She couldn't predict how things would go because she just had no way of knowing where and when that was going to make a difference. Maybe it would in a case like this, and maybe it wouldn't. For all they'd shared, he'd spoken so little of his history. Of who he'd used to be, and which parts of it were harder to let go of, or simple to relinquish. So much of their friendship had been about now. And about the future. The past had butted in where it showed up at all. They hadn't exactly welcomed it into the dynamic, so to speak.
Maybe that was an oversight. Khari liked to pretend she didn't care about it at all. And it didn't matter, to her, not as much as the rest. But she knew it mattered to him. She grimaced.
âI... yeah. I'm gonna think about it, and then... I dunno. Try something. Maybe. I guess." It was hardly the wholehearted commitment she liked to attack life with, but Khari was pretty good at identifying when she didn't get stuff, and she might have just found something she needed to try harder to understand first.
But, well. First things first. âThanks, guys. For talking it out with me. I mean it."
This friendship stuff had way more benefits than she'd ever thought it would.