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XX Callumxx#6C3F39
King Merle accepts the gift and Callum bows once more. He offers polite greetings to the rest of the Royal Family and instructs the Pellem Vero soldiers to help unpack all of Deryn's things, then falls into step behind the Princess, trying to keep a distance from her and Bertrand. There's a part of Callum that wants to join their conversation, to reminisce with them, but he knows he can't.
It's not his place to intrude- it never was.
Bertrand and Deryn tour the castle at a leisurely pace, quietly chatting about pieces of the palace that have changed and pieces that have stayed exactly the same. Callum remembers running down these same halls, remembers coloring on the floors with chalk and taking the full blame.
When they arrive at the library, Callum's heart warms a little at the light in Deryn's face. This is a place they spent a lot of time sneaking into as children. Deryn would sit and read aloud from the catwalks or a windowsill while he and Bertrand added commentary that often made her laugh in the middle of her narration. He remembers teasing Deryn for her love of cheesy romance novels, remembers wrestling with Bertrand and knocking over stacks of books that hadn't been sorted.
The library itself is much the same as it is in Callum's memories- tall stained glass windows, tall shelves along every other inch of wall and filled to the brim with books of all sizes. The stacks of unsorted books have disappeared with time and the furniture is worn, but it feels the same.
"This is yours. We have to keep the doors locked to keep Alouette out. She doesn't look like much, but she gets into mischief. Remind me and I'll introduce you to her later, she's very excited to meet a 'real princess.'" Bertrand says with a wide gesture toward the sunlit room.
Deryn all but squeals and skips off to a shelf, instantly absorbed, and Callum looks to Bertrand, watches him step slowly backward, catches the hint of a smirk on his face as he turns around.
Bertrand wants to talk to him, and that is a very, very bad idea. So before the Prince can say more than a quiet 'hello' Callum is taking a few steps back and bowing, refusing to look him in the eye.
"Excuse me, your Highness, but I believe I shall give you and the Princess your space."
Callum can barely stand the look on Bertrand's face, the confusion ridden in his features, and he turns on his heel to walk back out of the library, gently pulling the doors closed behind him. He doesn't leave, because it's his job to protect the Princess. But being in that room... all it does is remind him of what he used to have, what he can't have now. Those two are out of his reach.
King Merle accepts the gift and Callum bows once more. He offers polite greetings to the rest of the Royal Family and instructs the Pellem Vero soldiers to help unpack all of Deryn's things, then falls into step behind the Princess, trying to keep a distance from her and Bertrand. There's a part of Callum that wants to join their conversation, to reminisce with them, but he knows he can't.
It's not his place to intrude- it never was.
Bertrand and Deryn tour the castle at a leisurely pace, quietly chatting about pieces of the palace that have changed and pieces that have stayed exactly the same. Callum remembers running down these same halls, remembers coloring on the floors with chalk and taking the full blame.
When they arrive at the library, Callum's heart warms a little at the light in Deryn's face. This is a place they spent a lot of time sneaking into as children. Deryn would sit and read aloud from the catwalks or a windowsill while he and Bertrand added commentary that often made her laugh in the middle of her narration. He remembers teasing Deryn for her love of cheesy romance novels, remembers wrestling with Bertrand and knocking over stacks of books that hadn't been sorted.
The library itself is much the same as it is in Callum's memories- tall stained glass windows, tall shelves along every other inch of wall and filled to the brim with books of all sizes. The stacks of unsorted books have disappeared with time and the furniture is worn, but it feels the same.
"This is yours. We have to keep the doors locked to keep Alouette out. She doesn't look like much, but she gets into mischief. Remind me and I'll introduce you to her later, she's very excited to meet a 'real princess.'" Bertrand says with a wide gesture toward the sunlit room.
Deryn all but squeals and skips off to a shelf, instantly absorbed, and Callum looks to Bertrand, watches him step slowly backward, catches the hint of a smirk on his face as he turns around.
Bertrand wants to talk to him, and that is a very, very bad idea. So before the Prince can say more than a quiet 'hello' Callum is taking a few steps back and bowing, refusing to look him in the eye.
"Excuse me, your Highness, but I believe I shall give you and the Princess your space."
Callum can barely stand the look on Bertrand's face, the confusion ridden in his features, and he turns on his heel to walk back out of the library, gently pulling the doors closed behind him. He doesn't leave, because it's his job to protect the Princess. But being in that room... all it does is remind him of what he used to have, what he can't have now. Those two are out of his reach.
XX Derynxx#403A60
Deryn may be more in love with books than she could ever be with a human, but she doesn't miss how Bertrand speaks to Callum, with that soft fondness in his voice that she's only heard come from people who claimed to be in love. She doesn't miss how Callum deftly avoids conversation, doesn't miss the confusion and pain and frustration that clash in Bertrand's expression.
Deryn closes the book she's only just opened with a loud snap, grabbing Bertrand's attention, and she smiles as reassuringly as she knows how. "He's been like that ever since mother died."
"I think my father saw how upset Callum was when mother died and saw it as a weakness. I barely saw Callum in those first few months after the funeral, he was so busy training. I think father told him to stay away from me. He hasn't talked to me like a normal person in years, he just avoids the conversation and tells me I shouldn't talk about such things with a servant. But then, who am I supposed to talk to? The only people I know are servants!"
"It felt like he'd abandoned me," Deryn says, and she scolds herself as tears begin to fall. "I've been so alone, Bertrand, and I'm happy to be here, I really am. But I'm scared."
"I don't love you the way I'm supposed to, and I know you don't love me either. The way you spoke to Callum- you love him, don't you? I bet you always have. And I've never loved anyone. I don't even think I could. How are we supposed to marry? To have children?"
Deryn allows herself to cry, to release her fears, because now she's certain Bertrand doesn't love her, either. She's spent yeas upon years reading stories of people falling in love and being in love and she knows what she and Bertrand have isn't love- not that kind of love. It's comforting to know that she isn't alone in that feeling. But what on Earth are they supposed to do about it?
Deryn may be more in love with books than she could ever be with a human, but she doesn't miss how Bertrand speaks to Callum, with that soft fondness in his voice that she's only heard come from people who claimed to be in love. She doesn't miss how Callum deftly avoids conversation, doesn't miss the confusion and pain and frustration that clash in Bertrand's expression.
Deryn closes the book she's only just opened with a loud snap, grabbing Bertrand's attention, and she smiles as reassuringly as she knows how. "He's been like that ever since mother died."
"I think my father saw how upset Callum was when mother died and saw it as a weakness. I barely saw Callum in those first few months after the funeral, he was so busy training. I think father told him to stay away from me. He hasn't talked to me like a normal person in years, he just avoids the conversation and tells me I shouldn't talk about such things with a servant. But then, who am I supposed to talk to? The only people I know are servants!"
"It felt like he'd abandoned me," Deryn says, and she scolds herself as tears begin to fall. "I've been so alone, Bertrand, and I'm happy to be here, I really am. But I'm scared."
"I don't love you the way I'm supposed to, and I know you don't love me either. The way you spoke to Callum- you love him, don't you? I bet you always have. And I've never loved anyone. I don't even think I could. How are we supposed to marry? To have children?"
Deryn allows herself to cry, to release her fears, because now she's certain Bertrand doesn't love her, either. She's spent yeas upon years reading stories of people falling in love and being in love and she knows what she and Bertrand have isn't love- not that kind of love. It's comforting to know that she isn't alone in that feeling. But what on Earth are they supposed to do about it?