Ronan Hargreeves
xxxI guess I'm always gonna be the bad child
xxxI guess I'm always gonna be the mad child
xxx'Cause you will never understand my weird mind
xxxAnd to every single person here that doubts me
xxxTellin' me that they could live without me
xxx'Cause they will never understand my weird mind
If Ronan was being honest with themselves, they didn't know why they were here. They didn't know why they came back to the place that brought them nothing but torment and misery for nine-teen years of their life. Why they found themselves stood, along the curb of that old street outside of the gate that stood opposite of the drawbridge that lead to the pathway to the Academy. Ronan silently ruffled through their jacket's pocket as they retrieved a small packet of Cloves. Taking one out of the box, placing it in between their teeth as they retrieved the lighter and set it alight, taking in the mix of chemicals from within the cigarette, holding their breath as they felt it fill their lungs before exhaling. The smoke quickly whaffting away in the sea-breeze. The smell of salt and sand found its way passed their senses, taking another deep breath as they closed their eyes. They could have just left, go back to their rented out apartment in the next town over, have a few drinks before going back to The Netherlands. The only place they've been able to call home in recent years. Being back here, well...It brought nothing but anxiety. Whether it was owing it to theirself, or even their siblings, Ronan wasn't sure. But there was that constant voice in the back of their head that told them to just go. Go to the Academy. At least talk to the others, talk with Pogo, anyone. Just, don't walk away. "Don't be a damn coward!" that damned voice wracked in their brain once more, grimacing slightly. A small shiver found its way going down their spine before Ronan took another hit from the cigarette before tossing it to the ground, licking their lips. The sweet taste of the cigarette danced across their tongue as they focused on it, something familiar. Something to keep them grounded for just a moment. Anything to keep them from focusing on his voice, even with him gone...Being here alone was enough to cause memories flooding back to Ronan. But as they focused on the ocean, the crashing of soft waves, the seagulls overhead. The cars that passed by. It helped them not focus on why they were actually here.
Ronan opened their eyes once more, dark green hazel eyes scanning the foreground before them. Their hands shook for just a moment, before they formed into momentary fists. "C'mon, Ro...Just fucking get it over with. Go in, say hi. Then just leave. You don't owe them anything more..." they muttered under their breath. They were here to ensure that their bastard of a father was truly gone, that was it. Sure, there were some siblings they wanted to see. Hell, one they hadn't seen in over a decade now. Hell, what did Sven even look like now? Ronan changed a lot, so why wouldn't they have? Fuck, Sven was one of the ones they had wanted to see for the longest time, to make things right. Even if there wasn't much they had to apologize. Just...Simply showing they weren't angry with them should have been enough, right? Reaching into their back pocket as they rested against their Speedbike, Ronan took out that damned letter. Why they brought it with them, it was anyone's guess. Their eyes scanned it over once more, a small tinge of bitterness and anger slowly found itself tying their stomach in knots as they read it. A feeling of regret and guilt always found its way in when they were here, all because of him. Ronan simply crumbled it up in their fist, before tossing it into the ocean. Ronan grabbed their helmet, tucking it under the crook of their arm, they made their way across the street and over to the gate. Pausing for just another moment, Ronan took yet again another deep breath. Their hand shook slightly, before they punched in the damn code before it opened, creaking as it did so. It really had been this long, huh? Ronan pushed open the gate and began to slowly make their way across the old path, the ocean air scraping across their skin as they walked up to the old academy.
Ronan looked up slowly at the old building, their tongue glid across their teeth for a moment as they contimplated things. Shaking their head, "Just fucking do it..." they muttered, before they began walking once more. Stepping up onto the old, whethered steps as they walked up to the door. They took a moment, and knocked a couple of times against the old door, shoving their hands into their pockets as they waited patiently. For what felt like forever they waited, and waited. And waited. Until the door finally creaked open for a moment. Ronan instinctively looked through the door, before looking down as what could only be seen in a flash of fur and darkened skin closed the door for just a moment. Before opening it back up again, "Master Ronan?" came an all too familiar voice, however aged it may have been. A small smile spread across their face as Ronan looked down at the simian. He was aged, and slightly hunched over, but it was for certain the same one. The one Ronan knew all too well. "Hello, Pogo. It's been a while." they said with a smile. The aged simian smiled as he opened the door fully, ushering Ronan inside.
Ronan slowly stepped into the entryway of the Academy, their footsteps softly thudding as they entered. "You look well, Ronan." they heard the old monkey speak up once more as the door closed behind the two of them. Ronan turned their head over their shoulder, "Thank you, Pogo...You look...You look good. I'm glad to see you again." they said with a soft smile. Pogo gave them a small nod, brows furrowed slightly. "How is...Everything?" Ronan sighed slightly, looking back around the old foyre. Everything was exactly the same as they left it. Memories slowly came back as they closed their eyes for just a moment. Blinking as they snapped themselves back to reality, "Sorry...uhm...things are...Better, Pogo. Uhm...How is everyone else? Are the others here yet or...?" the old simian gave a curt nod, "That's good to hear, Ronan. Well, you're the second to arrive but uh...I think there is someone you should see first." he said with a kind smile. Ronan tilted their head for a moment, "Where...Where is she?" they asked softly. "In the kitchen, preparing some snacks for everyone's arrival."
Ronan gave him a small nod and smile, "Thank you, Pogo. For...Everything. This and...Well...You know. I'll be back to see you in a little bit...I'm...I'm gonna go say hi real quick." they gave the simian a small nod before parting ways, but not before placing the helmet in one of the empty chairs, before going through the halls and different rooms. Memories and feelings they dug deep down slowly began to resurface. As if a movie was playing out in their head. Flashbacks to Ronan and the others as children, running through the hallways and corridors. Ronan finally found themselves stepping into the small archway that lead into the kitchen. Stopping midway through the arch of the door as they saw a figure of a blonde woman busily pulling out a pan of cookies and placing it onto the table. Ronan took a short, shallow breath before they swallowed the growing lump in their throat, "H...hey mom.." Ronan managed to call out, their voice cracking half way through those two small words. The woman turned around, with a smile on her face, "Oh, Ronan sweetheart!" she chimed as her eyes rested on them. A small smile formed over their face before they found themselves wrapping their arms around the Android in a tight embrace, "I've missed you..." Ronan said softly as they rested their head along the android's shoulder. Grace smiled as she spoke, "Well, you're home now. Just in time for cookies." she said, grabbing one of the plates as she offered some to Ronan, who simply oblidged by taking one. "Oh, and one of your siblings is here. You should probably go say hi, Ronan. I have lots to do before the others arrive." Grace exclaimed as she turned and went back to baking.
"Right...Uhm...I'll see you later, okay?" Ronan turned on their heels, but not before looking at the android one last time, taking a small bite out of the cookie they took from the plethora of them. They'd need to come back for more later. Their foosteps sounded softly as they meandered throughout the rooms, before finally coming to one of the few rooms that made them uneasy. The back foire with the mantle and picture that hung above the fireplace. They hated looking at the portrait that Hargreeves had made. All false pretenses, fake emotions. None of it was genuine. Their thoughts were interrupted as they could feel a presence in the room with them. It was familiar, but faint. One they hadn't felt in a while, which, immediately caused them to recognize it. They took a small, short breath before finally turning to see the figure standing opposite them in the room. Ronan's eyes scanned over the figure, a small smile spread across their face. They looked different but, those eyes and face. Ronan couldn't mistake it for anyone else. "Hey, Sven..." Ronan started, their voice soft and low. They didn't really know what to say. It had been ten years, but, it didn't matter to them. This was one of the few people they genuinely wanted to see again. Even if the conditions were, less than favorable. "You look...You look good. I mean it." a small, genuine smile appeared for a moment, before fading away. "I uh...Trust you've been well." Ronan took another pause as their hands shook, noticing just how fast their heart was beating in their chest. Ronan bit their lip as they looked down for a moment. "God...I don't even know what I'm trying to say..." Ronan muttered, combing their fingers through their hair, "I guess I'm just trying to say...I'm sorry...I just hope you've...Been better off since...Well. I don't need to state the obvious." Ronan nervously fiddled with their fingers, a nervous tick they had picked up when they were a kid. "It's good to see you again....After all this time, Sven. I...I missed you." their tone was genuine, solemn almost. The sound of regret and guilt would have been easy to pick up on by anyone, and Ronan wasn't ashamed of that. They missed most of the others, and Sven especially. They just hoped they could make things not entirely fall apart before this shitshow even started.