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âWhat are you thinking about?â They mumbled into her ear, burrowing themselves in her dark tresses.
She smiled softly, pushing aside her hair to see them clearly. The sunlight was still figuring itâs way into their room, not quite at the angle to reach the bed yet. Her fingers ran along their jawline, her touch soothing them back to sleep.
âIâll tell you about it later, go back to sleep.â
They drifted back into their dreams, Lucky watching for a moment â envious of that peace. Even her sleep was restless, dark circles forever shading beneath her eyes. She slid out from the bed wrapping herself in a silken robe.
Rose was an intoxicating scent, one she always favored. The aroma filled the room as she filled the tub, pouring the rose extract generously where the spout poured into the frothing water. When she closed her eyes it was all she could sense, that heavy floral musk. Her impulse was to retract as she lowered herself into the bath, she could feel her skin reddening from the heat. Thatâs what the rose extract was for. She bit her bottom lip, plunging herself into the water all at once her gasp twisting into a wince. Her body tensed, holding itself in place as it acclimated.
When she was here it felt like she could forget everything for a moment â in that time as her body felt like it might be on fire battling the elements struggling to adjust so could finally have that moment of peace. Ghosts were always lurking in the corners of her psyche reminding her of what lurked in the shadows. She closed her eyes, tilting her head back and submerging herself holding herself under until she ran out of breath.
âHey,â Their voice surprised her, a scratchy whisper. She looked over, spitting bubbles in response. âYou okay? Youâve been quiet last couple daysâŠ.â
Lucky nodded slowly, closing her eyes again and sinking further into the water. She waited until she heard the door close behind her latest paramour before opening her eyes again reaching for the battered bound novel that sat on a table beside the tub. Most of the book had water damage, warping the pages so that they wouldnât lay flat swelling it in size.
She started to flip through the pages, the book opening to where sheâd shoved a folded a piece of paper into the spine. Careful to unfold it so that it stayed pressed against the book and hidden should her paramour walk back in unannounced. The note was beginning to tear at the folds from the repeated motion, caught in the cycle of reading it until she felt too sick to look at it anymore, folding it furiously and hiding it away. Out of sight, out of mind â right?
To my dear students,
How could he be so cold and yet so uncharacteristically warm in the same sentence?
A closet full of pretty things with a high price tag. Each piece made her think of someone she wish she was, anyone but herself really. Maybe one day sheâd put on the perfect outfit to finally become someone else. Every morning she put together who she wanted to be that day, at least for pretend. She stood there, dripping wet and naked â every thing around her tailor made yet none of it fit her anymore.
âIâve got to go home,â She hollered from the bedroom, recognizing the sound of someone shifting in the next room followed by footsteps.
âHome?â They asked, coming into the closet. âThe States you mean?â
âL.A., just outside the city.â She lied; they didnât even know her real name. Why start being honest now?
âDid something happen?â They asked, grabbing a towel that had been strewn aside from a previous day of dress up and wrapping around Lucky. A shiver ran down her spine, prompting them to rub her arms quickly to help her warm up.
âNo â not really. I guess theyâre selling the house and need our help going through the things to see what they can throw out.â She didnât even know what she was saying until the words left her mouth, the story spinning itself.
âDo you want me to come with?â
âNo! â no, trust me thatâll just make it take longer. Plus youâll end up becoming best friends with my brother which will immediately doom our relationship, so trust me itâs for the best.â
They furrowed their brow in mild suspicion before kissing atop her head gently, her hair dripping across their chest. They pushed her hair back, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her in. âAny way I can help?â
She smiled, kissing them deeply before asking sweetly â âWill you take me shopping?â
________________________________________________________________________________
âYou look nice.â Whispered the fox, following Lucky from a distance as she trudged through the Shadow Realm.
Lucky pursed her lips, avoiding eye contact forcing herself to remember the details of the door to her room in the Academy. She had been offered a first class flight instead but she didnât want them hovering over her shoulder as she bought the ticket asking why she was booking a flight to New York City instead of L.A. Besides, she hated connecting flights from international to domestic. Even with first class and TSA pre-check it was still a pain to transfer.
âToo good to talk to me now? You rarely come visit anymoreâŠ.Iâve grown lonely.â
âMaybe if you didnât stalk me like prey every time I came in here, Iâd be more inclined to keep you company.â Lucky spat, rolling her eyes. The Shadow Fox was always lurking whenever she passed through. She stopped being afraid of it a long time ago. In here she was the one in charge of the world around them.
âWell whatâs a fox to do? Not much else here to keep my attention.â
âMaybe whatever you did before I got here?â
âSleep,â It let out a cold laugh, Lucky twitching with discomfort at itâs pitch. âIf only it were that simple. You donât help much, passing in and out of here without a care in the world.â
âSounds like a personal problem. Now go away, youâre breaking my focus.â She shooed the fox away, the shadowed creature shrinking in size to dodge her and circle around.
âExcuses, you should be able to do this in your sleep by now.â
âJesus Christ â forgive me if Iâm a little distracted. Will you just shut up please? Iâll be on my merry way and you can go back to sleep.â
âI think weâve known each other long enough that you know that isnât what I want.â Its tone sent a chill down her spine, looking at her with still beady eyes.
Lucky snarled,âAnd thatâs why youâll always be lonely.â
âI just want you to stay where your safe â isnât that exactly what you wanted for your family?â
Lucienâs face flashed in her mind; heâd been only a voice for so long she wondered if theyâd even recognize each other. She shook her head, the fox infecting her thoughts. It was an endless power struggle between them, yet they were somehow the one being who was a constant in her life. Locked away in its cage it didnât seem so scary, though it was harder to distinguish that when it slipped into her dreams.
The door, she had to remember the door. The trim was covered in polaroidâs, her favorite pictures of her siblings and their mother. She would spend hours looking at the pictures in the middle of the night when she couldnât sleep, trying to recreate her memories to feign the idea of a childhood. The door was oversized and took her full strength to move with an ornate brass knob from the original design of the house. The light always gleaned off of the warm browns of the varnish, reflecting the room in itâs surface. She could feel the hardwood beneath her feet, opening her eyes to see the door conjured within the Shadow Realm.
âLooks like thatâs my cue, nice catching up.â Lucky flicked off the Shadow Fox one last time, opening the door and stepping through.
The first time she teleported through the Shadow Realm it felt like she was being spat back out into the light. She had been unconscious for over a day afterward, her body exhausted from over-exerting her power. She didnât travel through the Shadow Realm as often as she could have, when the alternative was private jets and first class it wasnât a downgrade in any way. If it meant some extra time lapping in luxury, why would she waste her energy on something as taxing as the Shadow Fox.
Though eventually, as always, the time would come where sheâd burn some bridge or get herself in some situation that led her to the same place. Sheâd learned how to manifest portals in and out of the Shadow Realm with relative ease unless the Shadow Fox was especially a nuisance that day. At least stepping through the portals had become less volatile.
She stepped from the shadows into her bedroom, blinking rapidly as her eyes adjusted to the light.
There were white linens pulled over the furniture, but the plants were as lush as ever. Lucky smiled, âMomâ. Lucky had been to the Academy since she left, though usually just stealing an hour with mom in the kitchen or maybe rifling through her dadâs study for notes regarding his research into her powers (usually a result of a coke-fueled night leading to a spiral of resentment). She hadnât been in her room since she left. She could tell their mom had continued to clean it, not a single speck of desk settled on any surface in the room.
She began pulling the linen from the furniture, folding each one neatly and setting it on the end of her bed. Seeking the shadows of the house, she could read Pogo lingering in the parlor watching the door and their mother in the kitchen. The otherâs had yet to arrive, she wondered if any of them would even show. As if her thoughts had manifested them, the sound of the drawbridge broke her inner dialogue.
She watched as Sven emerged from the car, stunned for a moment having to catch her breath. They were the last person Lucky expected to show, though maybe for that same reason theyâd be the first one to want to confirm the guy was really dead. A metallic taste filled her mouth, Lucky realizing sheâd been biting her lip so hard it began to bleed. Waiting for Sven to follow Pogo into the house, she opened her window as quietly as possible hanging out as she lit a cigarette.
Sliding into the chair beside the window so that she was hidden from sight but hanging her hand out the window so the smoke wouldnât travel into the hallway, Lucky sat like that for a while. It was another three cigarettes when she heard the sound of the drawbridge again, peaking above with caution to watch Ronan ride in on a speed bike.
âWell thatâs it,â She mumbled to herself, putting out her current cigarette and tossing the butt out the window. If Ronan and Sven were both in attendance, it was free game for anyone to show. How many ghosts would she have to face today? She was already chewing on her lip again, lighting up another cigarette in defeat. Anything to keep her hands busy.
Lucky paused, looking at her phone as if it had become the enemy. If there was ever a time to call Lucien, itâd be now â though admittedly sheâd never called him when she was sober. She didnât know if sheâd be able to handle him not picking up today of all days, didnât want that hanging over her head. Against her better judgement she hit the call button, smoking her cigarette furiously to stop herself from chewing her bottom lip raw.