xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxJeremiah Hawk
xxxxxxxxxThe Athlete - ED1005 - outfit
From the corner of his eye, Jer thought he saw a blond head sneaking off. It might have been Casey, but whoever it was went by too quickly for him to confirm. He rubbed his stubble thinking of how he would deal with seeing Casey again. He wondered how he could think so quickly on the field, but be so stumped when it came to normal life. He would have to act normal, or at the least his version of normal. We used to hug when seeing each other, but would that be too much now?
Jer took the phone from his pocket and his eyes focused when the thing unlocked itself. He had no new messages, and still about a thousand unread emails, although that was kind of a daily thing. He flipped through it, even though he knew full well there was nothing new on the damn thing. By now it was a nervous twitch than actually looking for something. He was waiting for the others to move, maybe they could deflect whatever was coming his way.
All of a sudden he knew he didn’t have to move for his nightmare to close in on him. Without looking up, or maybe even afraid to look up, he knew Diana was on her way. These were her high heels that made the clicking noise on the hardwood floors, he’d recognise it anywhere. The tempo of the steps, the way the sound filled the room. Was it just him, or did everyone hear it this way? The sound came closer still before he had the courage to look up at her.
He thought he could feel his jaw drop. She looked elegant as ever, radiant even. It felt like the low hanging sun lit up the room to emphasise her. If she was nervous about this, it looked like she had a better way of hiding it then he did. Her stride was still one of confidence and the way she composed herself was still like it had been 7 years ago. Just before she arrived to their group he remembered to close his jaw again. Stop trying to look so stupid for 1 friggin’ minute Jer could kick himself.
“Hey, it’s so nice you all could make it.” she said calmly, maybe a bit of a higher pitch than normal. Jer’s mind was racing. Of all the things playing in his mind, their fights were the last thing he wanted to imagine right now. However, it was the same few memories that flew through his mind time after time. I can’t believe the last word I ever spoke to her, or called her, was ‘bitch’ It had been wrong, it had been so wrong to call her that. Yes, they disagreed, and yes, they were drifting apart, but none of that should have driven him to call her a bitch. It had been mean, and solely intended to hurt her feelings.
He saw her smile at them. Bitch, bitch, bitch… The word repeated in his mind time and time again. He felt his palms get sweaty. Bitch, bitch… He saw her leaning in to hug Jenna first. Now he was feeling chills, cold and heat running through his body at the same time. Bitch, bitch, bitch… Come on man, stop yourself! He was better than this, this isn't how his mother raised him. As Jenna and Di separated, he saw her going for a hug with Nas. Bitch, bitch, bitch… Oh no, I’m next. Is she….is she gonna hug me too? The full fledged panic attack could be felt in every fibre of his being. Di was pretty much a foot smaller than he was, but he still felt himself shrinking further and further. Bitch, bitch, bitch… Why am I being such an ass, stop yourself!
Jer felt hopeless when Diana and Nas let go of each other. Bitch, bitch… Don’t you guys need to hug a bit longer, you’re siblings in law for crying out loud! The moment before they took note of him, he took out the handkerchief from his pocket to nervously dab his forehead dry. As he put it back in his pocket he looked straight into Diana’s eyes, their feet in each others direction. He blinked a few times quickly, almost hoping he would see something else when he opened his eyes again. Bitch, bitch, bitch… Please God, for everything that’s holy, don’t let me open my mouth.
He put one foot forward, expecting her to do the same. Expecting her to hug him like she did the others. Bitch, bitch, bitch…He hunched over and spread his arms before he realised she was not moving like he’d expected her to do. He stopped halfway, not knowing what to do next. His armpits felt like the Pacific on the left and the Atlantic on the right. He stopped moving completely, trying to camouflage his spreading arms as if he was to make an announcement. "B..bitch....-ing party, Di!" he proclaimed a bit too loud and a bit too forced. His smile turned into a small laugh, which turned into a sound he’d never made before, and hopefully would never repeat.
"Drinks sound like an excellent idea!" He turned his body towards the bar, hoping the others were planning on the same. In a few long strides he made his way over to the bar, like he was going for the end zone. "One beer, please…" he mentioned to one of the barmaids. quickly, he thought.