Description

{"I wish nothing more for you all to be yourselves. Take courage in being yourself, even when others tell you not to. Go forth unafraid." } -Casey Worthington

{"But it was not your fault but mine." }

|Quirks & Habits|
Whenever she zones out, Casey will tap her foot or fingers to an old rhythm, one she never understood where she got it from. But it always stuck.
Casey always had bad habit of biting her nails, especially when stressed or anxious. Always down to the skin and even to the point of where they bleed. She tends to comb her fingers through her hair when thinking, or anxious about something. One of her old tells that her friends know all too well.
Casey will bite her bottom lip and the ride side of the inside of her cheek when she's deep in thought, often not sensing she's drawn blood.
Whenever Casey laughs, her nose scrunches up and she tends to ever so slightly snort, a small thing she's always been insecure and hated about herself.

|Talents | Strengths | Skills |
⚘Casey always had a knack for public speaking, even if it was often forced at times ⚘ Casey is incredibly dependable, anyone can come and talk to her and know they won't be judged ⚘ Art, seeing how she managed to get a scholarship for one of the most prestigious colleges, it wasn't much of a shock it later became the subject she'd teach ⚘ Music, like most of the classes she excelled in back in school, Casey had a knack with music, mainly the guitar but she never pursued it as a job, mainly due to her mother's influence in the pas ⚘ Cooking, even if she only ever really cooks for herself anymore, she knows a few good recipes that can please almost anyone ⚘ Writing, while she didn't become a writer like Ben did, she has dozens of notebooks and journels that litter her apartments with her thoughts or small short stories she wrote over the years, creativity was one of her major outlets ⚘ flexability, shouldn't come as a shock as she was a cheerleader back in her high-school days with the Bordeaux twins, even if it wasn't her thing per say ⚘ Singing, even if she hasn't sung in front f anyone before. She's passionate about it, but her mother's doubts have kept her from pursuing it professionally ⚘

|Flaws/Weakness|
⚘Casey can't lie for her god damn life. Whenever she lied in the past, she had so many clear tells of it, she's just too honest for her own good ⚘ Casey is incredibly insecure, even if she pretends like everything is fine. Like she's a confident adult, it's not even close to how shattered her ego and security really is. Casey's always second guessing herself no matter what, and usually needs assurance from someone else ⚘ Hopeless romantic, as much as Casey tries to deny it or act like she's fine being along and perpetually single, she's a hopeless romantic who wants nothing more than to be in a meaning-full relationship again, even if she feels like she doesn't deserve it ⚘ Her parents, there's more than one reason why she hadn't returned home and it's due to her family. In recent years, they had a falling out, and Casey has never been able to fix it, even though she knows it's not worth the effort due to their views and hostility towards her since coming out years ago ⚘

|Hobbies|
Drawing (keeps her focused), Painting (She sells some artwork online), Writing (usually just her thoughts), Guitar (she's not the worst), Plant-Keeping (keeps her busy), Singing (Casey has written and recorded a few songs over the years, but she's never tried to release any of the music she's made. She doesn't think she's good enough for that)

|Fears|
øShe's scared of nothing more than ending up alone, with no friends. No one, just her. Forever alone. ø
øCasey is terrified of falling back into her old ways, of being so absorbed in her work, that nothing else exists. ø
øThe fear of becoming just like her mother in the end, bitter and angry at everyone because she'd be alone.ø
øThe truth of her past actions coming back to bite her in the ass, and being exposed for why she left.ø
øAbove all else, Casey is scared she'd never be able to make things right with her ex once more.ø

|Secrets|
✤Ultimately, the hookup with "The Star Athlete". It was a one time thing, and she regretted it immediately after, and still has regretted it since. She refuses to acknowledge it and talk about it. She wishes it never happened, and she'd prefer to act like it never did. What others don't know either, is that she found herself being three weeks late after the hookup, and once her fears were realized, she was indeed pregnant. She didn't know what to do, except go to a clinic and have it taken care of, another thing she still regrets to this day. ✤
✤The reason she turned down the proposal was because she was scared. Not that her job opportunity came at the same time, and she wasn't scared of commitment, but she was scared that maybe, just maybe she wasn't good enough for her in the end. That Jenna deserved better than what Casey could offer her.✤
✤Borderline addiction to alcohol, when she isn't busy teaching, or managing to occupy her time with her hobbies, she's pouring out another glass, in her small apartment back in Berkshire, England.✤
✤Casey is absolutely miserable with the life she has. Sure, she has a good job, she enjoys it. She has a roof over her head because of it. She enjoys the small things, but she can't help but feel like the life she has now, isn't the one she wanted. There's nothing more that Casey wants, is to mend the relationship she had with Jenna, but she knows full well it'll never happen, or least it's what her head keeps telling her.✤

|Goals/Dreams|
Casey wants for nothing more than to find a true, meaning-full relationship with someone, even if she doubts she ever will. She deserves it for her past actions in her last relationship with Jenna. Running away like a god damn coward.

One day, Cas would like to be able to open up a small art studio, for where she can display all of the work her students have given her over the years, as well as some of her own. But, she keeps that dream as a small after-thought, just to keep her going. Something false to hope for.

Above all else, Casey wants to be able to look Jenna in the eyes and apologize for how things fell apart between them all those years ago. She was just, young and scared. She didn't know what she wanted. Casey knew she was in love with the girl, and part of her still is, she just wants to make things right and stop holding onto the guilt for breaking Jenna's heart like she had.

{"And it was your heart on the line." }

|Personality|

|Dependable| |Loyal| |Charasmatic| |Caring| |Insecure|
The one who, back their high-school days, used to be known for her intelligence, her dedication to her work, all wrapped up in a happy, bubbly cheerleader was all that most people knew. The one who never seemed to have an issue with anything. The one who was always happy, and treated everyone fairly and equally. Unlike her parents, who had closed minds and a judgmental view of others, Casey was rather the opposite. She didn't outwardly show her viewpoints around her parents, for she didn't agree with them on most things. But, her self identity was something she kept under close wraps until she got kicked out of her family home, which, she never regretted to this day.

She used to be so to herself, wrapped up in her work, and kept her nose to the books. Barely putting out time for her friends, she just had to get he best grades, she didn't have the option for failure. The pressure and expectations her overbearing parents put on her was evident enough for her friends to notice. The sleepless nights that she spent awake, cramming in last minute notes. If she wanted that spot as Valedictorian, just like her mother had when back in school, she needed to put her nose to the books. And so she did. Casey remembered the comments from some of her peers, how she must have thought she was better than everyone, all because of who she was, and the fact she was one of the more popular students. The comments for the most part she let roll off her back, and she still does, managing to let most things thrown her way roll off her back. But when comments came to other things, it became too much, and still does on occasion. While sure, Casey grew up, shed that introverted and bookworm shell and became who she is today, it came with a price.

When the shift in who she was became evident, so did the whispers, usually people calling her a bitch and other termanology that made her eyes roll, but she got over it. Casey had found the person who helped change her for the better. She was able to open up more, was able to enjoy the little things life had to offer. As well as romance and love. And she threw it all away, something Casey still regrets to this day.

While the years have gone on, and Casey has grown up in recent years, it hasn't stopped her from constantly second guessing herself on most things. Maybe she didn't treat the students in her class that day like she should have? Maybe she was a bit too harsh? Too carefree. But for the most part, Casey now still finds herself burying everything in her work, but at least she enjoys the things she does. She laughs, smiles, jokes, and spends time around people she cares about. But deep down, even after all these years, Casey can't help but feel like, maybe all of this is some big mistake. She wishes she could go back and change so many things, and if she could, maybe she wouldn't find life so lonely and empty? Casey's constantly depressed when she isn't buried in her work with the college and her students. Not finding another project to work on, or another art piece to spend her time on, she finds her thoughts going back to those moments in her life she wish she could have-no, should have changed.

In reality, while she still manages to hold up the facade of being fine, Casey is anything but fine. She's depressed, lonesome, angry at herself for the choices she's made in the past, and constantly wishing for life to have been better. To have made better choices, smarter choices. So now, Casey is wondering if showing back up in Bluffton will be the better choice? Maybe she can settle a life back home, with a more ideal job, along with helping her long time friend back on his feet. She should have been there for Ben, she should have seen the signs, and she didn't. Just another regret to add to her list of second hand regret. But all she hopes for now is a second chance to make things right with the others...

|Likes|
▲ Music, can usually always be seen with earbuds in as she works ▲ Incense, she usually has some burning in her apartment, helps keep her calm ▲ Tea, especially herbal and green tea ▲ Teaching, it's her job and it's what she's most passionate about, least it's what she keeps telling herself ▲ Her students, they're her pride and joy, often finding them to be like her own kids that she cares for deeply ▲ Dark chocolate, anything to do with chocolate is a small obsession. She usually has some around in her travel bag or somewhere in her apartment ▲ Soft and flowery smelling perfumes ▲ Animals, she's an animal person and the moment she first found Tyson in an animal shelter she took him home, been history since |Dislikes|
▼ Overpowering smells, like something burning or sewage, makes her feel sick ▼ People who talk while eating, which leads into loud chewing, makes her skin crawl ▼ Insects, and most importantly the ones of the winged variety ▼ Humid and muggy weather, she's always been one to overheat and hates being sweaty ▼ Having her past thrown in her face, especially by her parents who tell her "I told you so" when she told them about the proposal and breakup▼ Her family's reputation, especially for how homophobic and closed minded they were. They influenced her for years before she realized their toxic views ▼Never feeling like she's good enough for anyone or anything, she's always second guessing herself ▼

{"I really fucked it up this time." }

Easily, the moment she denied Jenna's proposal. It still haunts her for turning it down and leaving like she had. Casey was madly in love with Jenna, and part of her still is, however deeply (or not so deeply) buried that reality may be. She regrets her choice back then every day and can't help but feel guilty for walking away like she did. The look on Jenna's face when she said no is still deeply ingrained into her memory. She can't forgive herself for it. She broke the heart of the woman she loved, and that reality and pill to swallow is just, never wavering.

{"Didn't I, my dear?" }

|History|
Now a days, the person known as Casey Worthington has grown up a lot since her high-school days. The one who was the goody-toe shoes, know it all student who had her nose in the books, always studying, always preparing for the next test. Always pushing herself to get the best grades. To be the top of the class. The one who would later become a cheerleader (allbeit reluctantly) amongst some of her best childhood friends, she had it all. She had money, well off parents, the perfect grades, everything anyone could have wanted at her age. At least that was the Casey everyone perceived.

The happy, cheery, always smiling and joking Casey. The one who seemed to never be in a bad mood, the one who always wore a cheery smile that lit up her entire face. The one who was always there for people. To tend a shoulder to cry on, and an open ear for anyone who needed to rant. The daughter of two very religious and close minded people. The one they expected to follow in their footsteps. The one to get a good job, marry a man who had his life together and a good job. Everything that people had expectations of. But, that wasn't Casey. Not the real one anyway. Not the one that few people genuinely got to see. The one under the happy-go-lucky facade. In reality, under and on the surface of Casey is an enigma for many people, especially upon first meeting her, now a days anyway. No one would have expected her to be the top of the class student. Not the one who in school was a cheerleader. Not the one who was in a highly conservative home.

While Casey walked around with smiles and a cheery attitude, she was anything but that. Casey had her moments, just like anyone of where she would falter, get angry and down in the dumps. Where she would shut herself off from others. Just want to curl up into a ball and just pretend to not exist for a few moments. Her home-life was anything but what people thought. On the outside, it was like any other home. But in reality, Casey felt like an outsider. As if even in her own home she felt ostrocised. So, the day when she came out as being Pansexual, people didn't really bat an eye. But when she showed an interest in one of the "Less than favorable kind", as her mother would put it, some were shocked. One of the popular cheerleaders had managed to fall for the less than ideal "Rebel" who's name was Jenna Reynolds. The girl was everything that Casey wish she had. Someone who could be herself and enjoy life, not have to worry about what others thought. She got to be everything Casey wasn't, and she was fascinated. So, the day when she managed to pluck up the courage to ask the other girl out, her life started to look a little bit brighter. A little less confusing. A little less dark. A little less hopeless.

The years went by easily, even with the obstacles and entirely different lives, the two were a team for the taking. Casey was undeniably in love with Jenna, no one could deny that. It was obvious. Anyone could see that much with a simple glance. The look in Casey's eyes when she looked at Jenna was evident enough of her feelings. So, when the day came where Jenna proposed, no one would have seen that ending coming. Everyone would have thought they were going to have their happily ever after. Hell, they had been high-school sweethearts, so it only made sense for them to. But, when Casey turned it down, and said she couldn't, under the guise of her job, well. Shit hit the fan. The fallout of it wasn't pretty, and it only made Casey feel even worse. She didn't feel like someone as amazing and free-spirited as Jenna, deserved to be tied down to someone like Casey. Someone who had so many expectations thrust upon her, well, it was all so much. With the news of being able to get her dream job, compiled with her stress of her family, and the thoughts she was forced to uphold, it was all too much.

Casey could feel herself beginning to crumble for months, and the sudden proposal only added to those fears. She didn't feel like she deserved it, didn't feel like she deserved to have to force Jenna to move half way across the world. To be dragged wherever this job would take her. Casey felt like she didn't deserve Jenna and the things life could end up bringing her. So, instead of being the responsible adult she was supposed to be, she quickly rebounded with a one night hookup after the bad breakup with Jenna. Finding herself in someone else's bed, especially someone who was her own best friend's ex, well...It became too much. Casey got the first flight she could get and was gone. The years passed, she had the job she always wanted, or at least it's what she thought. But, in the most recent year, Casey has found herself being miserable and lonely. This isn't the life she thought she'd have, or wanted. Living in a small apartment with her dog as she works as an art teacher...

But now, after receiving the call about Ben, she finds herself going back to the US. Back home to Bluffton. Back to everyone she used to know. And back to the one who's heart she broke. Casey simply wants to be able to help Ben get back on his feet after being in hospital, but she knows full well if she's forced to face her past, especially Jenna...This may not end well. And that thought terrifies her, having to face the one she left heart-broken again...

{"Tremble Little Lion Man. You'll never settle any of your scores." }

Little Lion Man
Weep for yourself, my man,
You'll never be what is in your heart
Weep Little Lion Man,
You're not as brave as you were at the start
Rate yourself and rake yourself,
Take all the courage you have left
Wasted on fixing all the problems
That you made in your own head
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?
Didn't I, my
Tremble for yourself, my man,
You know that you have seen this all before
Tremble Little Lion Man,
You'll never settle any of your scores
Your grace is wasted in your face,
Your boldness stands alone among the wreck
Now learn from your mother or else spend your days
Biting your own neck
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?
Didn't I, my dear?
Ahhhhh......
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?
Didn't I, my dear?

Lonely Girl
{"Lonely girl you lost the only thing you loved." }

|Other|
❣Casey has an apartment that she bought out with the income she earned from her job at Eton College, as well as help from her parents. It's not the fanciest or largest apartment, as it's simply a living-room and bedroom in one, with a bathroom and kitchen, but it's all she needs as it's just her and her dog. Berkshire, England Apartment❣
❣Even before she left for the UK to be a teacher, sh had rented out a small apartment in her home town. She uses it mainly as
a place to stay whenever she comes back home, even if she hasn't been back in nearly four years. It's enough space for her to live comfortably, and it's all she really needs at this point. Bluffton, NC Apartment ❣
❣Casey first found this lad back before she moved to the UK. She went to a local animal shelter on a whim, and the moment she saw him, it was over. He won her heart right as their eyes locked onto each other, and she's adored every second with the baby. He's like her child, and she takes him wherever she goes. He's her constant companion, and she'd be lost without the five year old best boy.Tyson, Pit-Bull Mix ❣
❣What others don't know, is that she's recorded and written some music since middle-school. She just hasn't released any of it as she doesn't think her voice is all that good. But the passion is there, as she plays all the instruments, and does vocals, and then mixes them into the final product. It's a small pass-time she enjoys, even if it's just herself that knows those songs exist❣

So begins...

Casey Worthington's Story

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